Mary Poppins: Gundam Style
by Mirror and Image
Summary: [Complete]Kidnap Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke and replace everyone with the cast of Gundam Wing. So, if Heero Yuy is practically perfect in everyway, what's in store for everyone?
1. Part One

**Mary Poppins:   
Gundam Style**   
Mirror and Image

* * *

In the year 1910, the city of London experienced a wonderful event. It was not so profound as to be recorded in history, but it was enough for these authoresses to take note of. It started on a dull gray day. The smog billowed up from chimneys near a quaint park, rising into the sky, merging their blackness with the gray clouds above. In the clouds, however, is where our story begins. For on the clouds, there sat a young man, barely a boy of 15 with only two things by his sides. On one side was a bag that appeared to be made of metal. On the other side was an umbrella with a gun barrel pointing out of the tip. The young boy, who had dark hair and piercing blue eyes, was polishing an antique rifle with pride.

Now since he was situated upon a cloud, the metal bag started to sink into the gray smoke. The young boy merely grabbed it, replacing it where it was, and went back to polishing as if nothing had happened. Shortly thereafter, his umbrella/gun started to fall, so he replaced that as well and continued to polish his gun.

But we will get nowhere if we just focus on this boy. There are others that are important to the story. Let us go down to the entrance of the aforementioned quaint park.

* * *

And so our story begins. . .

* * *

Down at the entrance of the park, a young boy, also of age 15 was bounding around and dancing in front of a crowd that had gathered. His long chestnut braid whipped around behind him, and his cap remarkably stayed on his head. Once he was certain he had the crowd's undivided attention, he produced stick figure sketches to show.

"Once upon a time," the braided youth said in a weird accent. (This was England after all.) "There was a stick-in-the-mud named Wu Fei!" He held up a drawing of a stick figure with some sort of slanted eyes in the circle of the head. He whirled around making sure everyone saw it. "He, by chance, met up with Shinegami." The crowd, not knowing Japanese, eyed one another curiously, but looked on. The black-clad youth had a new drawing in hand. The strange stick figure was now sharing the page with a well-detailed scythe. "Shinegami didn't like Wu Fei's attitude," he held up another picture of the scythe somehow looking angry at the stick figure, "and so he decided to handle the situation." A new drawing was brought forth of the scythe heading straight for the stick figure. "And now, the stick-in-the-mud, is two sticks-in-the-mud." The final picture showed two stick figures, identical, pouting on the paper.

The crowd seemed to think the boy's escapades quite quaint and applauded him. "Thank you, one and all!" The boy opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off as a wall of wind hit him, sending him flying into the wall, his braid whipping into his face. The young boy stared at the crowd. They seemed unmoved by the wind. They didn't feel a thing. Yet here he was, stuck against a wall, his moneymaking pictures scattered to the four winds, barely holding onto his cap!

"HEY! HELP ME OUT HERE!" he shouted, his words dying in the wind.

Suddenly, the wind died down, letting the black-clad youth fall to the ground. The crowd thought this as part of the performance and applauded.

"Hurmph." This time, a gentle breeze tickled his face, and the crowd seemed to notice this, commenting on the nice change of weather.

"Ha!" The braided boy shouted. "Wind's in the east! Mist's comin' in. Like somethin's abrewin', about to begin!" He wasn't aware of why he rhymed, other than the urge to. "I know _exactly_ what lies in store! 'Cause I _know_ what's to happen all happened before!" Rhyming finished; the young boy started dancing around, nearly running into the crowd.

"WAHOO! HE'S COMING BACK! IT'S ABOUT TIME!" he shouted, dancing even faster. His dancing came to a dead halt as he came face to face with a young woman dressed in a constable's outfit; her dark hair fell over a blue eye. "Constable Noin!" he said. "Nice to see you again."

The young youth pulled off his hat and offered it to the crowd. "Thank you all for your kind support! And don't forget to come again! Next time, I'll have my old partner back and then you'll _really_ see a show!" When the crowd had left, the braided boy looked down into his cap.

"That's _it_? Those ungrateful…" his words were lost in the wind again. He sighed, pocketing the money and putting his hat back on. When he looked up, he saw a camera floating in front of his face. Knowing that the people he was now talking to understood Japanese, he greeted them accordingly.

"Ohaiyo! Konnichi wa! Konban wa! There, that should take care of whatever time you're reading this fic. Now then," he grabbed the camera, "I'll take you to where you're headed!" With endless energy, the braided boy bounded down the street.

"This here is Sakura Lane. The place you want is just down a bit. By the way, my name's Duo Maxwell. You'll be seeing me a lot later on. Oh, wait. I'm not supposed to spoil the plot. Well, anyone who's seen Mary Poppins knows I'll be around. Oh, damn, I gave away the original's name didn't I? I'll get punished for that. Anyway, I'm supposed to show you this house." Duo pointed the camera up to an imposing edifice that looked somewhat like a space fortress. Upon the roof, a white haired, aging man with glasses appeared. He wore a pale shirt and a weird blue vest. "This belongs to Quinze. He's not quite right in the head."

The white haired man looked down and saw Duo in the streets. "GUNDAM SCUM! FIRE LIBRE'S MAIN CANNON!" A flunky came out onto the roof, aimed the small ship cannon at Duo and the camera and fired.

"Guess we better be going, huh?" Duo said hurriedly as he bounded down the street, not looking back at the large crater where he once stood. Duo bounced further down the street, stopping in front of a nice mansion. "This one's the house you want. Be warned, craziness will ensue!" Duo winded his arm that was holding the camera like a baseball and pitched the camera at the house. The door obligingly opened, letting the camera through, and shut behind it.

* * *

Now the readers can watch things without being in the grasp of that maniac.

* * *

Inside the house, more specifically the foyer, loud voices could be heard arguing.

"…No! I will not be forced to baby-sit those brats again!"

"Hey! One of those 'brats' is my brother! Watch what you say. You're lucky the master and mistress aren't home to listen to this. You'd be out of a job if you said that in front of them!" The door beyond the foyer opened and two young girls came out. The elder one had bright violet eyes and curly reddish brown hair. The younger had blond hair, pulled back into two braids, letting the rest hang.

"Oh, come on Catherine," the blond said. "Those two get into more trouble, even with a nanny! I'm not even supposed to be a maid! I should be head of this household! I will not become a nanny to those children again, until I can regain my position as Queen of the World! Then I can order someone else to do it."

"Watch your mouth, Relena. Trowa's my little brother," the elder said, wiping her hands on her apron. Obviously, she was the cook of the house. "If you insult him again, I'll have to take steps."

"But that's just it!" Relena shouted back. "He's your little brother! He should be a servant like us. Instead, he gets to stay with Quatre, do whatever he wants, and get waited on like he was related to the family! He should work and I should be waited on! I will not let this nanny leave us!"

"I am sorry, Relena-san," a new voice said. Looking up the stairs, Relena and Catherine saw a tall young lady, of Relena's age, coming down the stairs with a bag in her hand and an umbrella in the other. Her long golden hair fell on each step as she descended with all the regal bearing of someone who grew up in royalty.

"No Dorothy!" Relena yelled. "Don't go yet!"

"I can not, Relena-san," Dorothy said, heading for the door that Relena blocked. "Those little beasts have ran away from me for the last time. As much as I'd like to stay and discus your views of pacifism, I can not do so and watch those brats any more."

"Hey! Trowa's my little brother!"

"I, frankly, do not care, Catherine-san," Dorothy replied, trying to shove Relena aside. "I am done with this house, forever."

"No! Dorothy! What will Mrs. Chang say?"

"I am leaving, Relena-san."

"But stay, please! At least until they're found!" They were interrupted by a singing voice coming down the street. "Mrs. Sally Po Chang!" Relena opened the door, letting Mrs. Chang come in.

"Ah!" Sally said. "Relena, Catherine, Dorothy, I'm so glad you're all here!" She produced little sashes and placed one on each of them. "You should have been at the rally today! It was wonderful!" On the sashes, the words "VOTES FOR WOMEN" were clearly marked.

"Chang-san," Dorothy said. "I must say-"

"Yes, I know," Sally said. "You're proud to be a woman in these times." For no good reason, Sally happily burst into song. This was fun. "We're clearly soldiers, in petti-coats! Dauntless crusaders, for Women's Votes! Though, we adore men individually, we agree, that as a group, they're rather stu-pid!" She continued the song, dancing along with Relena, who firmly believed in the cause. If she could be Queen of the World, why couldn't she have a vote? Catherine danced, more than sang, showing off her acrobatic ability. Dorothy calmly watched, listening to the lyrics that she believed in. As a strong woman, she had the right to manipulate through the political parties of Parliament. But those manipulations where denied to her by the lack of the vote. But right now, something was more important.

"CHANG-SAN!" she shouted. The singing and dancing stopped abruptly and Sally turned to Dorothy.

"Yes, Dorothy?" Sally looked around "Where are the children?"

"That is what I need to discuss. I do not know where they have gone, so I would like for you to compute my wages."

"You're _leaving_ us?"

"Yes. Those children have run away from me to be alone together for the last time on me. Six times this week alone! I must leave." Sally let out a long sigh.

"I understand. Those two are a handful." Sally went to where her husband kept the checkbooks and wrote a check for Dorothy. "I think this should handle it, and I added a little extra for actually staying as long as you have."

"Thank you," replied Dorothy.

"Mrs. Chang," Relena said, still blocking the door for Dorothy. "All of this disappearing trouble started when you brought on Catherine and her younger brother Trowa. Why not just dismiss them? Quatre-sama was such a good little boy before Trowa came along and led him into mischief." Catherine's cheeks reddened in anger.

"That will not be necessary," Sally answered. "Though Catherine's cooking is questionable," Catherine looked down, "Trowa has made Quatre very happy. I will not break his little heart." Catherine smiled and glared over to Relena, who paled.

"But Mrs. Chang? Don't you wonder about their relationship? All this running off to be alone, the amount of time they spend together? Is it really healthy for Quatre-sama? They share the nursery together! Quatre-sama has always had a big heart for those lower than his stature commands-"

Sally cut her off. "That is quite enough, Relena." Catherine smiled wickedly at the cowering blond. Sally continued, "Every time they disappear, they have had a good explanation for the circumstances, and as for sharing the nursery, they share it with the nanny, if you recall. So would you be so kind as to hold your tongue before I dismiss you!" Catherine's smile grew and Relena stepped away from the door, finally letting Dorothy out. Just outside the door, a little dog was sitting. He had on an adorable little vest with a clearly embroidered message. "This could be you!" Relena paled even further. She knew exactly what that dog meant, so she decided to practice some self-control.

Sally happened to glance at the clock. "POSTS EVERYONE!" All three women (as Dorothy was gone) went somewhere where there was fine china. Within seconds a resounding explosion was heard, courtesy of Quinze, firing "Libra's Cannon". The whole mansion shook, several pieces of delicate and expensive china falling from it's place, only to be grabbed by one of the women, preventing it from shattering.

* * *

Outside, walking down the street, a Chinese boy of 15 rounded the corner and hurried past the home of Quinze.

"GUNDAM SCUM! FIRE LIBRE'S MAIN CANNON!" That was the explosion that had caused the women to go scurrying to protect the china. The black-haired youth easily avoided the crater and concussive force with well practiced ease and headed for his mansion. He opened the door, handing his things to his maid, Relena. Already he could smell the dreaded soup coming from the kitchen.

"Wu Fei, dear," Sally said, trying to get her husbands attention. Wu Fei merely avoided her and went into the drawing room, grabbing a glass of cherry.

Two girls popped in. "Wu Fei Chang!" cried out one with bangs. "You're supposed to be singing!"

"So start singing!" the other replied.

"I. Do. Not. Sing," Wu Fei replied earnestly.

"Spoilsport!" the second girl said.

"And who are you?" Wu Fei demanded.

"You'll find out later!" the first replied curtly before the two disappeared.

"Wu Fei, dear," Sally repeated.

"What?"

"The children are missing. Again."

"They can take care of themselves."

"Wu Fei!" two voices shouted. "Go along with the story, lest Nataku suffers!"

Wu Fei mumbled a long tirade under his breath but turned to Sally. "So that nanny has failed. We'd better fire her."

"There's no need, Wu Fei," Sally replied. "She left us already."

"Right. I guess I'll call the police." A knock came from the door as Wu Fei picked up the old phone. Sally answered it.

"Wu Fei, the policeman's here."

"Really? That was fast. I haven't even connected with the department." Sally opened the door and Constable Noin stepped in.

"Good evening, sir," she said.

"Constable. I have some things I need to discuss with you," Wu Fei said shortly.

"Before you do, I was going about my duties in the park when I noticed some valuables of yours that had gone astray."

"Valuables?"

"Yes. Come along," Noin said, looking out the door. Two young boys of 15 years of age came in, bowing their heads. One was tall for his age and had long brown bangs that neatly covered half his face. The other had golden locks that framed his pale face. The blonde, who was short for his age, was holding a green and gold kite that was badly torn.

Sally went to the two of them and hugged them closely. "Quatre!" she said to the blond. "Trowa!" to the green eyed boy. "Thank goodness you're home!"

"Sally," Wu Fei said. "Stop acting like a weak woman." Noin and Sally glared at Wu Fei for a moment, but Sally stood up, releasing the boys.

" 'Children'," Wu Fei said, looking down on them with extreme disapproval. "What were you doing?" Quatre stood forward, giving Sally and Noin a chance to discuss Votes for Women.

"I'm sorry, ah, father," the small blond said. "But we were flying this kite when there was this wall of wind. We kind of lost the kite and went to find it when we lost Dorothy."

"A kite?"

"A kite."

Wu Fei shook his head in exasperation. "Quatre Raberba Chang, you're 15 years old! What in the name of the colonies are you doing with a kite!" Trowa came forward.

"We are still perceived as children," he said quietly. "So why can't we act like children?"

"I'd have expected better behavior from _you_, Trowa," Wu Fei said.

"Now, now," Noin said, interrupting. "It was the kite that ran away from their nanny, so don't go blaming them."

"I am sorry for the trouble they caused you, Constable Noin," Wu Fei replied. "I'm sure if you go to the kitchen, Cook Catherine will find you a plate of something for all you work." Noin paled at the mention of Catherine's cooking and went out the door.

Sally looked over to Wu Fei. "Don't be so hard on them."

"Don't be so feminine with them." The Chinese boy looked down to the "children". "Trowa, Quatre, go to your room." Was it Wu Fei's imagination, or did he see a small smile appear on _both_ of their faces? It was probably nothing.

"Wu Fei," Sally said. "I think you're being to hard on them. It wasn't their fault."

"Sally-chan," Wu Fei said, sinking into his chair, "You've hired 12 nannies in the past 2 months, with Dorothy being here the longest, actually staying for a full month."

"Are you sure it's me your mad at, or the Preventers?"

"Both. You're a woman, so you couldn't hire a proper nanny if your life depended on it." Sally ignored him. "But with the Preventers, that idiot Trieze is still leading them. Une had so much potential, but now she has split personalities, and all the others are pathetic weaklings."

"Now that you're done ranting about the injustice of the Preventers, what do you suggest about the children?"

"They can handle themselves, but apparently, I'm destined to find a good nanny for them. Therefore, since you obviously can't get a good one, I'll have to do it myself."

"And how will you do that?"

"I'll place an advertisement in the _Times_." Wu Fei downed his cherry and sat back, relaxing by the roaring fire. Sally got out some paper while her husband drained the stress of the day away. "Write this down. 'Required, a nanny who will care for two adolescent boys. Boys are prone to pranks, running away and all around disobedience. Military experience preferable.' We'll see how that goes."

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SING!" the two girls' voices screamed. "Aarrgghh….There goes another song…"

"Whatever," the Chinese youth replied.

"Ano, father?" Wu Fei and Sally Po looked up to see Trowa and Quatre standing in the doorway, both dressed in pj's and robes.

"What?"

"We're sorry about what happened," Quatre said. "It was wrong to get away from Dorothy-nana."

"I appreciate that," Wu Fei answered.

"And we do want to get on with the new nanny," Quatre continued.

The Nataku pilot raised an ebony eyebrow. "Very sensible. I would be glad for your help in the matter."

The pair smiled. Or more specifically Quatre smiled and Trowa just lifted the corners of his mouth.

"We thought you would. That's why we wrote this advertisement."

"Advertisement?" Wu Fei asked. "For what?"

"For the new nanny of course."

Wu Fei choked. "_You_ wrote an advertisement for-"

"Wu Fei," Sally interjected. "I think we should listen." The youth was about to protest but she shot him a severe look.

"Whatever." He turned to Trowa and Quatre. "Say it quickly."

Quatre smiled and took out a piece of paper. " 'Wanted: A nanny for two adorable children'."

Wu Fei snorted. "Adorable. That's debatable." He would have continued, but Sally gave him another look.

" 'If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition," Quatre sang in a sugary sweet tenor voice. "Rosy cheeks, no warts.

Play games, all sorts.

You must be kind; you must be witty;

very sweet and fairly pretty.

Take us on outings give us treats.

Sing songs, bring sweets.

Never be cross or cruel;

never give us Custer oil, or gruel.

Love us as a son and-' " Quatre faltered. " 'son'-er." He paused, trying to think of a rhyming word.

"Keep going," Trowa whispered.

"Okay. 'And never smell of barely water'. What's that?" he added quickly. He shrugged and continued. " 'If you won't scold and, dominate us

we will never give you cause to hate us.

We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see;

put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea.

Hurry nanny, many thanks, sincerely':"

" 'Trowa and Quatre. Chang'." The last line both boys sang.

One of the girls who popped up earlier popped up again.

"Isn't that song absolutely ab-DOR-able? Oh, I _had_ to keep it in!" She then promptly disappeared again.

"Well, that went well," Wu Fei said sarcastically. "I for one have had enough of this nonsense. This is no way to go about getting a nanny." He turned to the two boys. "Go to your room," he said. Then he added hastily. "And go straight to sleep. The last thing I need is to hear the two of you giggling up there."

The two children flushed slightly before dutifully running upstairs. Sally picked up the paper that they had left behind.

"They were only trying to help," she said sympathetically. "Their just children."

"That's just it," Wu Fei replied, snatching the paper from her hands. He promptly started to rip it up. "Their fifteen. Same age as me. They should be going out into the working world. Maybe joining the military. Piloting Gundams. Saving the world. Instead they're talking about playing games and singing songs. Trowa at least should be more sensible." After ripping the paper to bits, he threw it into the roaring fire. "There's no doubt in my mind. Now is the time for action."

Sally followed him out of the drawing room and into the foyer. The Chinese pilot picked up the earpiece of the antique phone, rolling the lever.

"Get me the _Times_ please."

* * *

Go to Part Two


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

* * *

Quinze came out to the roof of his space battleship Libra. It was an okay day, with lots of clouds in an already overcast sky. Not the greatest weather for freeing the colonies, warring with earth, and destroying the Gundams. At least in his not-so-great gray matter.

"I'll take the report," he said to his flunky.

"Sir, the winds changed, coming dead on from the east. You'd think it was straight out of Japan."

"Report, don't cloud it with opinions," Quinze said irritably. He opened his mouth for a long tirade, wishing Milliardo-san was here.

"Sir!" the flunky shouted before he could start. "Bit of something or other taking place of the port bow!"

Mildly interested, Quinze looked over the safety rail. Below him were dozens, maybe hundreds of soldiers, ranging from the Alliance, Oz, the Trieze faction, his own White Fang, and other, more appropriate militaries from the 1910 era. All were in single file leading all the way up to the Chang house, a known Gundam stronghold.

"That's it!" he cheered happily. "Destroy those Gundam menaces! Blow them up good!" He looked to his nameless flunky. "Get Libra's main cannon online. This calls for celebration!"

* * *

Trowa and Quatre looked out the window of their bedroom, looking horridly and ghastly looking crew below them.

"I don't understand," Quatre said. "Their not what we advertised for at all."

"I don't think Wu Fei took our song to heart," Trowa stated simply. He leaned out the window to see how far down the line went. It easily cleared the park, where he saw one black clad, braided youth jumping up and down trying to get attention.

"Oi!" The green-eyed youth could barely hear him. "Where's Image? I'm not ready for the next scene yet!"

As if to answer his faint plea, the now familiar "wall of wind" made it's appearance. If appearance is the appropriate word for it. Several of the soldiers opened their umbrellas. Which was kind of pointless in a windstorm. Said umbrellas promptly broke as the gusts became stronger and more forceful.

"Is it a hurricane?" Quatre asked. The two boys also felt the wind, though from their perch it felt more like a stiff breeze.

"Look," Trowa stated, pointing down to the street. The soldiers of various militaries were, albeit slowly, being blown away. Literally. Several men went flying up into the air, whirling and twirling about. Not a word was uttered by them, for the simple reason that certain authoress' are too lazy to type in the "Aahs" and "Eeps". A few of the soldiers held onto the fence, trying to stay for the interview. Though _why_ they would want the job after the now obvious health hazards were pointed out was anyone's guess. Finally, the last of the men were cleared away, and the wall of wind slowed down to a small breeze.

"Trowa, look!" the small Arabian stated, his finger pointing up to the sky.

Floating down from the aforementioned sky was a boy, no older than the pair at the window, holding an umbrella and carrying an odd looking bag. He had dark brown hair, now wild due to his friend the wind. His eyes were a piercing cobalt. It looked as if all he was wearing was an overcoat, but Trowa notice biker shorts underneath.

Down he floated, aimed for their house, apparently, as he made a minor change in flight path and raised himself over their gate. The boy landed perfectly on the front step, greeted only by the dog, which seemed to have nothing better to do. The boy almost negligently rang the doorbell, waiting perfectly poised at the door.

"Wow," said Quatre.

"Maybe it's me," said Trowa. "But I think he looks even worse than the other applicants."

* * *

Downstairs, unbeknownst to anything that was happening, Wu Fei and Sally Po were at the table having breakfast.

"Shall I bring in the nannies, sir?" Relena asked, proud that she hadn't said anything offensive for a full five minutes.

"I said eight o'clock, and it will be eight o'clock," Wu Fei stipulated. He pulled out a pocket watch. "See, eight seconds to go. Go, Yon, San, Ni, Ichi-"

BOOOM

Sally, Catherine, and Relena dived for their posts, grabbing all the delicate china as it fell.

"It is NOW eight o'clock," Wu Fei said, oblivious to all the work the women were doing to keep the house to his order. He casually walked over to a mirror and straightened his tie. He was clad in a black business suit appropriate for the time, complete with red carnation. But he took the liberty having them made of Chinese silks instead of the heavier wool. "You may show them in, one at a time," he said, confidant that he'd fixed whatever was out of place before hand.

"Yes sir," Relena said, going to the door. Opening it, she said, "You may come in, one at a time."

"Shimatta!" The maid looked up to see who had said this. In front of here was a youth with a gun pointed to her forehead.

"Heero?" she asked surprised. "Heero! Heeeeeeerooooo!" Glomping him despite the gun, Relena became incoherent as she shouted platitudes into his coat, refusing to let go.

"Ch'kuso," the now despondent Heero muttered. Trying rather futile to unclasp her from his neck, he waddled into the door, hoping someone else would close it. "Hey!" he yelled in a louder voice. "Someone get this maid off me!"

"Maid? Maid!" Relena raised her head, coming eye level to the blue-eyed boy. "Why, it's me, Relena! Don't you recognize me, Heero? Oh, I thank the fates that you come to take me away from this horrible place! I don't think I could've stood another minute in this madhouse! Wu Fei and Sally Po are so mean to me! I'm forced to look over those two brats Quatre and Trowa and to top it all off, Cathy is the cook!"

At that moment, right on cue, 'Cathy' came in, frying pan in hand. She promptly bonked Relena on the head.

"No one but Trowa calls me Cathy," she said in a dangerous voice as the maid lay crumpled at her feet. She looked to the applicant.

"The master's in the drawing room. Follow me."

Heero did so and came face to face with Wu Fei. He took a deep breath.

"You are the father of Quatre and Trowa Chang?"

The Chinese youth blinked. "What?"

Heero rolled his eyes. "I said you _are_ the father of Quatre and Trowa Chang."

"Unfortunately, yes. Do you have any references?"

"No," Heero said flatly, indicating that the subject was not to be discussed. He opened his heavy metal bag and pulled out a slightly crisp piece of paper. "The qualifications," he stated, reading through the paper. While doing so a frown creased his face.

"Yes?" Wu Fei asked, expecting Heero to say something.

"Cheery disposition, kind, sweet, never cross _or_ cruel, rosy cheeks…" He looked up. "I don't even come close to fitting these qualifications!"

Wu Fei blinked. "They why the hell did you apply for the job?"

Heero looked up to the ceiling. "Because _some_one threatened to give the entire cast a ride in _my_ Gundam."

"Itai," the Chinese youth said, wincing in sympathy. "That's harsh. Who made the threat?"

"The twins," he answered tersely.

Wu Fei remembered the two girls from a few nights ago. "I think we've met. Who are they?"

"Mirror and Image, respectively. New fic writers."

"I see. Any good?"

"If this fic is any indication? Solidly mediocre."

Wu Fei took that with a grain of salt. "Style?"

"A little angsty, lots of sugar, and always a happy ending. Or at least happy considering who they write about."

"Yaoi or non?"

"Neither. They write in such a way that it's up to reader interpretation. They do support it though. They're very much 3+4."

"I feel sorry for them," Wu Fei said sincerely, looking up to the ceiling where the nursery would be. "Right," he said, getting down to business. "If you want the job I'll give it to you."

Heero nodded. "Mission accepted. I'll go meet them now." The bag carrying youth exited the drawing room and nonchalantly stepped over the still-unconscious Relena, hopping onto the railing. Acting for the entire world like it was normal, he slid _up_ the banister. He stopped on the landing, right in front of the gaping Quatre and the narrow eyed Trowa.

"Pick you jaw up Quatre," he said sternly. "You'll get used to it. Follow me." He then continued up the banister, the two boys trailing behind on the stairs.

* * *

Wu Fei didn't hear any of this of course, and drank a cup of cherry. All in all, the nanny he had just hired was everything he had advertised for. This was probably going to end up very well. Now if only his job at the Preventers could get some new leadership…

Sally came in, interrupting his thoughts.

"Ohaiyo, dear," she said amiably. Looking around, she seemed surprised that there was no one else in the room. "Wu Fei, weren't you supposed to be interviewing nannies?"

"I was. I did. I'm done."

"That was fast."

Wu Fei looked at the ceiling, now knowing who his adversaries were. Mirror and Image. "I didn't really have a choice in the matter." He looked back to Sally. "But I think he'll do quiet nicely."

"You're confident," Sally stated. "Well then, why not tell Relena to dismiss the others."

"Right. Relena?" Relena stirred on the floor, looking up and bewildered.

"Heero?" she muttered.

"Stop that," Wu Fei said irritably. "Dismiss the other nannies. The position has been filled."

"Others? You mean you didn't accept my Heero!"

"Relena," Sally said sternly.

"Oh. Um. Right." Relena went to the door and opened it to see nothing but a dog. It was the same dog with the same vest, only more words were added. "This could be you if you go after Heero…" Relena paled.

"The…the position.. has bee..f-f-illed," she said to the dog.

Sally kneeled down next to the chair Wu Fei was sitting in. "I think you did very well," she said. "I like the fact you did it all so swiftly. I would have interviewed everyone."

Wu Fei leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Let's see what else you like."

* * *

That wasn't supposed to get into the final cut. . .

* * *

"We're sorry about the mess," Quatre apologized. He, Trowa, and the new nanny stood in the nursery-their room. And, incidentally, the term 'mess' was an understatement. The two twin sized beds had been left unmade, the sheets almost falling off. Clothes of all sorts were strewn everywhere, the bed, the floor, in small piles, off in corners. And that was not all of it. This was a nursery after all. And in it were nursery type things. There was a dollhouse where all of the furniture lay on the floor before it. The tea table, Quatre's personal favorite, had toppled over at some point (but not to worry. The fine china was still intact). The rocking horse also was not in the proper position. Other things were strewn about as well. Trowa's guns, for starters. They in themselves were harmless. The green eyed youth made it a point never to have them loaded inside the house. But the ammo cases lay out in plain sight, strewn as it was along with everything else; and the instruments used to clean them would hardly be considered to be in order.

"Gomen nasai," the small Arab said again.

The nanny looked around, examining the previously described surroundings. He then shrugged.

"It's no problem," he said simply. Quatre and Trowa blinked. "I've lived in places even messier. I don't expect you to keep yourselves overly neat on my account."

"Oh," said Quatre, uncertain exactly what to say.

Trowa took over at that point. "This will be your room," he said, pointing to a slightly separate part of the nursery. "You have a pleasant view of the park from here."

The nanny walked over to see. Quatre noticed the metal bag in his hands.

"That's a funny sort of bag," he commented.

"It's a gundanium bag," the blue-eyed nanny replied.

"Oh, you mean it carries Gundams?"

"That too, but it's made of gundanium." The nanny placed it onto a table and looked out the window to inspect Trowa's claim of the view. Looking out the window he did receive a good view of the park. He turned from the window and looked around his new room. "I've been in worse," he stated.

The cobalt-eyed nanny went to his gundanium bag and opened it.

"First things first," he said. "If I'm gonna live here, I'm gonna personalize it." He looked up. "Did I just say that?" he asked, bewildered as to why he would want to personalize anything. But the boys simply looked on. "Anyway," he continued. The nanny pulled out of the comparatively small bag a large, tall hat stand. After placing it he took off his overcoat, revealing a green tank top and black biker shorts.

As he did so, the two "children" went right to the bag, looking into its heavy metal contents. Trowa even went so far as to stick his head in. He pulled back to show only a look of confusion.

"There's nothing in there," he stated softly.

"How did he do it?" Quatre asked.

The nanny walked over, ignoring their awed faced as he pulled out another impossibility-a plant. The blue-eyed boy wasn't sure why a plant was needed to "personalize" his room, but he kept his mouth shut as he placed it on a bureau. He stood for a moment, examining his room.

"I need a few more mirrors," he said flatly. He again reached into the bag and pulled out several large, decorative mirrors and placed them on various spots on the wall.

"Why so many?" Quatre asked.

"So I can see who's behind me at all times," the nanny answered. He reached back into the bag. "Now where is it?" he muttered to himself. He pulled out several items from the gundanium bag, a rifle, a six-shooter, a semi automatic, and automatic, a rocket launcher, even a bazooka.

Both boys paled visibly, and Quatre sweat dropped. "Ano," he said cautiously; not about to get a boy with so much firepower angry. "What are you looking for?"

"A tape measure," the nanny replied. He stomped his foot in frustration and stuck his head into the bag, much the same way Trowa had done earlier. Some choice words filtered out before an "Ah-ha!" escaped the nanny's lips. He came up with the desired tape measure in hand.

"Okay," the blue-eyed boy said. "We'll start with Trowa." He held one end with his foot and lifted the measure up to the top of the green-eyed boy's head. Once done, he looked at the yellow tape.

"I thought so," he said. " 'Extremely quiet and suspicious'."

Trowa flushed. He opened his mouth several times as if to say something, but nothing came out. Quatre, meanwhile, was giggling hysterically.

"That's him to a tea!" he sputtered, unable to control himself. Trowa merely turned a deeper shade of red. The youth again tried to speak, and again nothing came out.

The dark haired nanny rolled his eyes. "Stop opening your mouth it you're not gonna say anything." He turned to the young blond. "You're next Quatre." Repeating the same motion as earlier, the nanny examined the tape. " 'Loves tea and family dearly'."

It was Quatre's turned to flush in surprise as Trowa merely gave a faint smile of amusement. The brown haired boy looked to his new nanny. "And how do you measure up?" he asked softly.

The nanny rolled his eyes. "Fine, hold this." He handed Trowa the end of the tape measure as he lifted it to his head. The green-eyed youth obediently pulled the end to the floor. The blue-eyed nanny looked at his measurement.

"As I expected. Heero Yuy, Practically Perfect in Every Way."

The two boys blinked. "Heero Yuy?" Quatre asked. "Is that your name?"

"It sounds like the name of a great pacifist," Trowa added thoughtfully.

Heero again rolled his eyes. "That opinion will change very quickly. And yes that's my name." He took a deep breath. "Let's begin."

"Begin? Begin what?"

"Our latest mission. Code named 'Well Begun is Half Done'."

"And what does that mean when decoded?" Trowa asked shrewdly.

"Otherwise entitled 'Let's Clean Up the Nursery'."

"D'oh!" mumbled Quatre glumly. Heero pulled an apron out of the gundanium bag. He pondered it for a moment, debating whether to put it on. Scowling, he tossed it onto his bed. No one would catch _him_ in an apron. Well, maybe one person, but he wasn't here. Heero walked into the nursery and pulled out a gun, absently polishing it.

Trowa came up to him. "You said that you did not expect us to keep the room overly clean. In our minds it's just fine."

Heero smiled. "Nice try. But if you thought it was clean, Quatre wouldn't've called it a mess. Besides, I don't think either Wu Fei or Sally Po would accept this as clean. And I'm not about to have them send in Relena to clean it."

"Point taken," Trowa said softly. "Cathy-oneesan doesn't like her very much."

"Neither do I." Heero pulled out a clip and loaded his gun. "Let's begin."

Quatre looked up from his spot on the bed. "It _is_ a game isn't it Heero? Or at least a mission?"

Heero cocked his head. "I guess that depends on your point of view. You see," he said, suddenly feeling the urge to rhyme. "In every mission that must be done, there is an element of gun." He held up said gun and pointed it to the ceiling. "You find the gun and bang!" BANG!

"The mission's a game. And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake. A lark, a spree-" Heero stopped himself before he broke out into song. He looked up to the ceiling. "I refuse to sing!" he shouted. "You're not making me!"

Mirror popped up. "Oh yes we are. You do remember what we said about your Gundam, riiiight? Oh, and by cast, did we mention that by cast we meant not the cast of this fic, but the _entire_ cast of Gundam Wing? All the way down to the little no name soldiers that die needlessly."

Heero paled visibly as Mirror disappeared, giggling as she did so. The two boys looked at each other, not sure what to say, let alone do.

"It's very clear to see," Heero sang. Or, more accurately, he whispered in the lowest voice and subsequently the quietest voice he could manage while talking to a beat.

"We can't hear you!" an anonymous voice said gaily.

"THAT A SPOONFULL OF GUNPOWER WILL MAKE YOU SELF DESTRUCT! MAKE YOU SELF DESTRU-UCT MAKE YOU SELF DESTRUCT! Are you happy now!"

"Very. Carry on."

Several unrepeatable words escaped his mouth as Heero Yuy went to work. He cocked his gun with ease and took aim at a pile of clothes. Much to Trowa and Quatre's surprise, the clothes leapt of the floor, folded themselves, and went into an awaiting drawer. Heero then pointed his gun to one of the beds. It too obediently made itself, quilt and all. The blue-eyed nanny repeated the action to the other bed and that also made itself, with Quatre almost in it, as he had been sitting on it at the time. After disentangling himself from the sheets he scrambled out of Heero's gun path.

"How is he doing that? _Why_ is he doing that?" he squeaked, not used to having guns pointed at him.

Heero saw the fear and smiled. A slightly insane laugh escaped his lips as he handed Trowa one of his guns.

"The trick is to take aim with every intention to fire. After everything has done what it's supposed to, there's not need to pull the trigger."

Trowa nodded, handing his gun to Quatre as he picked up another of his collection. "What if you have to fire?" he asked.

"Then aim at the ceiling," Heero replied. "That will really get attention." He looked around as he continued taking aim at various objects. "Speaking of attention, why hasn't anyone come in yet? I did fire initially."

Quatre gave a small grin. "It's been sound proofed for a while now. We don't like people listening in on us when we're alone." The petit Arab then took aim at a small pile of books. Nothing happened. He checked to make sure that it was loaded. It was. He took aim again. Nothing happened again.

Heero nodded. "Smart move," he said, referring to the soundproofing. He looked over to see Trowa taking aim at several objects with his pistol. Blocks went hastily to the toy box, the aforementioned dollhouse was suddenly refurnished, and the tea table was reset. "You've got the hang of it," he stated.

Trowa nodded. "Practice," he said simply. Quatre in the meantime was hard pressed to get the books to move for him.

"Am I doing something wrong?" he asked. Trowa walked over to him.

"You're not intending to fire."

"Of course not," Quatre said. "They move before I have to. Right?"

The green-eyed youth nodded. "But you have to be prepared to pull the trigger anyway. Like this." Trowa took aim at the books on the floor. They did nothing at first. "See, I don't intend to shoot. But watch this." Trowa looked back to the books with his cocked gun. They suddenly leapt up to a nearby shelf. "Just think about when you were in the Zero system."

"Hn. I think I get it." Determination restored, Quatre's face went hard as he pointed to a non-offending wagon. Said wagon spouted several sweadrops and even a few stray hairs as it raced to a closet. "I did it!" Quatre shouted, jumping up and down.

Trowa once again gave that faint smile. "I knew that you could."

"Are you done yet?" Heero asked annoyed. While they had been together, he'd put everything back in it's place. The nanny tossed them their hats and coats. "You requested outings in your advertisement. This is an outing. Our new mission: Going to the Park."

"You're very straight forward," Trowa observed as he put on an overcoat and hat. He glanced in a mirror and took off the hat, unhappy with how it looked. He had never been a hat person. Neither was Quatre, apparently, as he also disguarded his. The trio exited the nursery and casually sat on the banister as they slowly slid down.

When they reached the landing, Heero saw Relena dusting. Cursing, he pulled out his gun again. They cruised right past her, and the nanny noticed that the maid had an ice pack on her head. Serves her right.

They thankfully reached the bottom of the stairs in the foyer. He tapped his umbrella on the floor and the front door obediently opened.

"Heero? Is that you? Heeeeeeeerrooooooo!"

"K'so! Run!" He and the boys ran out the door, Trowa slamming it behind him. The three of them heard a resounding crash and a muffled "Itai..." but they continued racing down the block until they felt they were a safe distance.

"Now then," Heero said. "Let's go to the park.

* * *

Go to Part Three


	3. Part Three

**Part Three**

* * *

The floating camera that had been following the trio moved on ahead, looking at the park entrance. There sat Duo, carefully studying a chalk drawing on the concrete in front of him. There were several there, in fact. Each on depicting a quaint scene of country and people. The braided youth picked out a yellow colored chalk and made a fine line.

"There," he said. "Perfect." He looked up to the camera as it watched him. "Hello art lovers!" Duo made a dive for the camera, ready to glomp it as he had previously. But the camera and learned it's lesson and flew up out of reach.

"Oh, well. Any way." Duo took a deep breath and started to sing. "Today I'm a scriber, and as you can see, a scriber's an artist-" He paused, looking at one of the chalk drawings. He took a stick and brushed off an offensive rock. "-of highest degree! An' it's all me own work! From me own memory!"

Duo stood up as he examined the art at his feet. He paused, looking at it as if for the first time. "Wow," he muttered. Then he turned to the camera. "I do good work, don't I?"

Image popped up at that last insult, walked up behind the braided offender, grabbed the kumi and pulled. Duo yelped and bent backwards, balancing precariously on one foot as he looked up to his would be attacker. Image smacked him.

"_Who_ does good work Mister 'I-can't-do-this-I-need-Image's-help'?"

Mirror made her appearance. "And while we're at it. About disclosing information prematurely back in part one." The older twin pulled a mallet out of hammer space and bonked the braided youth that Image held. The two promptly disappeared. No longer able to keep his balance, Duo faulted onto the sidewalk, thankfully landing on his posterior.

"Itaiiiiiiiii," he mumbled. Grumbling, he got up and rubbed various sore spots. "So I an only draw stick figures…" Duo got up slowly and looked at the calk pictures. One picture in particular caught his attention. It was a picture frame that Image had left blank. He'd noticed the peculiarity earlier, but had passed it off as artist's idiosyncrasies.

"What was that?" Image's voice demanded.

"Oh, nothing!" Duo said cheerily. As he now looked at the frame, he saw a distinct silhouette perfectly positioned in the center. It was that of a head (obviously) with wild, tousled hair.

"Wait, wait!" Duo shouted to the person making the shadow. "Don't move a muscle." He quickly grabbed a black chalk and began to trace. He looked errantly to the sky. "At least I can do this much!" he shouted.

"Watch you mouth," Image's voice was once again audible. "Or else I get to redesign Deathscythe."

"You wouldn't!"

"Watch me."

Paling, Duo returned dutifully to drawing the silhouette. Once finished, he looked up with an overly bright smile on his face. "I'd know that hair anywhere! Heero Yuy!" True to form, Heero did stand before him, looking utterly bored.

"I see you're still alive," he stated.

"Oi, Heero, is that any way to treat your … best friend?" he said cheerily. Then, behaving as only Duo would, he glomped Heero, making all sorts of happy noises and giggles. Heero in the meantime found the situation to be very similar to when Relena had found him

He stated as much.

Duo bounced back in shock. "You'd dare compare me to _Relena_?" He turned his back to the nanny. "That was low."

"So were you just now."

Duo flushed visibly. "Ya, well … uhm."

"I expect you know Trowa and Quatre," Heero said after an awkward silence.

Duo turned to face said boys. "Hiya guys. I haven't seen you around for a while. Last time you were chasing a kite I think. For a little while, anyway."

Both flushed slightly, another awkward silence befalling the group.

"Heero's taking us to the park," Quatre murmured finally.

Duo looked up at Heero and then gave a very wicked smile.

"To the park?" he asked Quatre. "Really?"

"It's out latest mission," Trowa explained.

Duo shook his head. "Other nannies take children to the park. Heero probably has much bigger plans. Something involving explosives, I think."

Heero snorted. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Duo's grin merely widened. "Here, let me show you." He motioned the two boys to follow him as he walked over to one of Image's chalk drawings. He pointed to one that depicted a man in a boat paddling with a long stick, a woman sitting at the other end. "See?" Duo asked. "Punting on the Thames. Now that's good if you want an outing." He grabbed the stick he'd been using earlier. Borrowing a page from Dick Van Dyke, he pantomimed the punting, complete with sound effects. And of course, he was every bit the ham that the original character was.

"I thought punting was only done in Italy?" Trowa asked softly.

Duo paused in mid punt, thinking. "You know, I always thought so too." He shot his head up to the sky. "Oi, Mirror! How come it's the Thames?"

"Don't ask me, I have no idea," Mirror replied.

Quatre walked down the row of pictures, looking at all of them. Two of them caught his attention keenly. One was of the colonies in space. The other, Quatre knew, was supposed to be his choice. He privately preferred the colonies, but he wasn't writing this story.

"If you please," Quatre interrupted politely. "I'd much rather go there." Duo and Trowa looked over to where he was pointing. The chalk picture was that of an English countryside.

"Now that's a place to go for an outing," Duo said, his evil grin coming to surface again. "See, you can't see it, but there's a little country circus down the road and behind the hill."

"Circus?" Trowa asked, his eyes faintly sparkling with interest. He leaned over Quatre's shoulder to see the picture. "I don't see a road."

Duo looked as well. "What, no road?" He went to grab a chalk but Image once again popped up, grabbing the item out of his hand.

"I'm not about to let you touch this," Image said tartly. She then proceeded to draw in a road, complete with bridge over a small stream in the picture. The artist grabbed a few other colored chalks and continued to work on it. Once she was satisfied, she was gone.

"There," Duo said. "Perfect for travel and high adventure." He looked up to Heero. "How about it?" he asked, the devilish grin once again on his face.

"Oh, please Heero," Quatre pleaded.

"Please," added Trowa."

Heero scowled. "I'm not about to make a spectacle of myself," he said, turning his head.

"Fine," Duo said. "I'll do it myself!"

Heero gaped at him. "Do what?"

"Bit of magic." The braided youth stood up and grabbed Trowa and Quatre's hand. "Now, first you think. Then you wink. Give a double blink. Give the patented Heero Yuy Glare of Death ™ …" Duo made a face that looked nothing like it. Quatre tried to give the glare, but only managed to cross his eyes. Trowa's expression didn't change at all. "And jump!" The three did so, landing on Image's poor chalk painting instead of in.

Trowa looked over to Duo. "Was something supposed to happen?"

"Utter nonsense," Heero muttered. "You'd think you'd've learned this by now. He walked over to the end of the line and grabbed Quatre's hand. "I think it's ingrained in your system to make everything complicated. Watch carefully this time. One. Two Three. Jump!"

The foursome leapt into the air and this time landed _in_ the chalk painting.

* * *

Well finally. . .

* * *

As everyone knows, jumping inside a chalk picture tends to make people dusty. The chalk, you understand. So once everyone was in, they had to pause to dust themselves (or each other) off. Also as everyone knows, when you jump into chalk pictures, you change clothes. Except it you're Heero Yuy. He kept his green tank tom and black shorts. His umbrella gun got a little frillier, but that was about it. Duo, dressed originally in shabby attire and black baseball hat, was now in a smart priest's outfit, complete with collar, straw hat, and wooden cane. Trowa, first dressed in a brown boy's suit, had changed into a tight fitting pair of jeans and a clown shirt. Quatre had been in pink and purple, and now he still was, albeit a lot fancier.

"Heero Yuy, you look be-autiful!" Duo complimented his fellow pilot.

Heero scowled. "Yeah right."

"No I'm serious. Like the day I met you. Of course I was busy shooting at you at the time, but you still look great."

Heero looked at the braided youth and finally muttered a thank you. "You look better than before too," he said begrudgingly. "At least a whole lot cleaner."

"Excuse me," Trowa said, interrupting the pair. "I thought you said there was a circus?"

Duo smiled. "So I did. Over the hill and down the road, remember? Tell'm I sent you an' you'll get a discount."

Quatre beamed. "Come on, Trowa! I hear a merry-go-round!" The two ran off down the road.

"Don't fall and smudge the drawing!" Heero called after them. "Image'll kill you!" Then he added quietly, "And so will I."

Duo looked at his partner in crime. "What for?"

"If those two get into the wrong kind of trouble, the whole cast gets a ride in my Gundam." Heero shuddered at the thought.

"Hn. Come one, let's go for a walk." Duo latched on to the nanny's arm as they walked, or rather kicked, their way down the road. Incidentally, it was in the opposite direction as Trowa and Quatre. The two explored the countryside, passing by farms, deer, turtles, and birds that were all singing praise to Heero. Duo tried to join in a few times, but Heero gave his patented Glare of Death™ and the American kept his mouth shut.

They finally came to a bridge. They paused on it and looked down into the stream. The pair stayed that was for several minutes, looking at each other in the water.

"Well," said a voice from behind. Heero and Duo whirled around to see Mirror sitting on the opposite rail of the bridge. "I guess Relena will be the first one to get a ride in you're mobile suit. She's the first one to appear in the series."

"You can't make me," Heero gulped. His face turned a very snowy white.

Mirror just smile. "I'll go get her now." She disappeared.

Heero sighed and looked to Duo. "Cover your ears."

"What?"

"Cover you're ears. I'm about to sing."

Duo blinked as the information processed in his head. Then his face lit up. "Not a chance! The only time I get to hear you sing is when you're cold drunk. I gotta hear this!"

Heero groaned and said something unrepeatable. Then he took a deep breath.

"It's a jolly holiday with Duo. Idiots like you are few."

"We Shinegami are a vanishing breed."

"Though you're just a baka in the rough, Duo. Underneath you're blood is red."

Duo blinked. "I thought the line was 'blue'? It rhymes better."

"Do you want me to cut you and find out?"

Duo paled. "No. That's okay."

Heero continued to sing. "You never think of pressing your advantage. Forbearance is the hallmark of you creed!"

"Just what does that mean?"

"A Yuy'd better fear, when you are near. You're ma-nic psy-cho-sis is crystal clear. It's a jolly holiday with Duo. A jolly, jolly holiday with you."

Duo beamed at all the compliments.

* * *

After Duo got Heero to think of something else than his victimized Gundam, they decided to stop at a fancy looking café.

"Oh, waiter!" Duo shouted to the top of his lungs. He then put a hand to his ear and listened to an annoying sound of a kazoo (?) as four chibis dressed as penguins raced out of the café to set up their table. Upon closer inspection, the chibi's were Walker, Otto, Alex, and Muller.

Heero glared at them. "What are Oz soldiers doing here?"

Duo put a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder. "Relax, Heero. Relax and enjoy. Right guys?"

"Order what you will," chibi Walker sang.

"There'll be no bill," added chibi Otto.

Then they all sang, "It's complementary!"

Heero smirked. "Arigatoo."

"Anything for you, Heero Yuy," chibi Alex whimpered. "If not, you'll kill us."

"Right you are," Duo said cheerily. "You know, he does all sorts of weird and sometimes sick things when the mood strikes him. He doesn't even have to be angry." The American cast a sidelong glance and saw Heero looking indifferent at the inflation of his reputation.

"It's true that Midas and Sybil have ways that are winning,

And Prudence and Gwendell and Secher are spinning.

Phoebe's delightful. Maude is disarming-"

"Janis? Felicia? Lydia?" added the chibis.

"Charming!" Duo noticed Heero looking very dark. Grinning, he pressed on. "Cynthia's dashing, Vivian sweet.

Stephanie smashing Pricilla a treat!"

"Veronica, Midithes, Agnes, and Jane?"

"Convivial company time and again!" Heero was making some very animal noises by now. Duo pressed on.

"Dorkas and Phyllis and Glinass assorts,

I will agree are three jolly good sports.

But crème of the crop, tip of the top,

Is Heero Yuy and there we stop!"

Grinning, Duo turned to his pal and suddenly was eye level with a frilly umbrella gun.

"Omae o korosu!"

"Oh, my. Heero," Duo said glibly. "I do believe you're jealous!"

"_Omae o korosu!_"

Duo grinned and sat up. He grabbed the salt for no reason and started tossing it around the ground, giving a fancy step as he did so. Fearing not to, the Chibi Penguin Oz Soldiers joined in. Actually, it turned into a very nice dancing line, performing all sorts of fancy tricks of footwork. Sadly, though, the Chibi Penguin Oz Soldiers had very short legs, and couldn't quite make up for the high kicks Duo was flashing around. It was getting downright difficult to keep up with the dancing maniac.

Fortunately, Duo saw what was happening. Another one of his wicked grins appeared on his face.

"Oh well," he said. "Guess I'll just have to get me some penguin pants."

He reached for his belt.

"ABSOLUTLEY NOT!" Both twins appeared and restrained the manic youth, pulling him to the ground and wrestling to keep his hands away from his clothes. The floating camera, meanwhile, forgot to stop taping. It instead zoomed in to hear what was being said.

"There will me NO mooning in this fic!" shouted one of the twins.

"But how come?" Duo mumbled, unable to wrestle free from the pair.

"This fic is supposed to be tasteful you clot!" the other twin answered.

"You're not doing a good job then are you?" Out of camera range, Heero's voice filtered in.

The twins looked in his direction and gave him a perfect imitation Heero Yuy Glare of Death™. "YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" The struggle continued before Mirror finally snapped her fingers and Duo was suddenly "given" the penguin pants.

"Now then," she breathed. "Lets try that again."

The twins disappeared and left Duo and the Chibi Penguin Oz Soldiers to continue their erratic, if amusing, dance. But unfortunately, since the floating camera never cut, it ran out of film just as the dance started.

* * *

"Oi, Heero. Alone at last, ne?"

* * *

ahem Once the floating camera got some more film and was turned on again, before it's lens were the four pilots on the merry-go-round that Quatre had heard before. It was far from your run of the mill merry-go-round. Instead of horses, it had instead Chibi Gundams. Each boy was on the appropriate mecha, holding the preferred weapon with pleasure. For example, Heero was aboard his Wing Gundam and playfully aiming at things with the buster rifle. Duo, upon Deathscythe, had traded in his straw had and wooden stick for the scythe, flaying it around with skill. Trowa, atop Heavyarms, was examining his gattling gun and loading in ammo. Quatre was enjoying himself on Sandrock as he played with his scythes. If you held them just right, they looked like a heart …

They circled around each other, enjoying themselves.

"Very nice," Duo said, a goofy grin on his face. He leaned back. "Very nice indeed." He glanced over to the nanny. "If you don't want to go anywhere."

Heero took the bait and fell for yet another skillful manipulation by the braided American. "Who says we're not going anywhere?" the Japanese pilot asked indignantly. He leaned over and knocked on the guard door as he passed it with his rifle. A shade went up to reveal Mrs. Darlian at the controls.

"As you wish, Yuy-san." She pulled a lever and as the Chibi Gundams came full circle, they bounced off the merry-go-round and took off down the countryside. This of course surprised Trowa and Quatre, as the two boys were still new to Heero's powers, but Duo took it all in stride, happily confident he could get the spandex clad boy to do almost whatever he wanted.

The four rode down the countryside, bouncing this way and that, admiring Image's talent with chalk at they passed rolling hills, blue skies, and fertile forests.

Trowa pulled up beside Quatre. "You know," the green eyed boy said. "Our rides are fully armed. We could have a sparring match." Duo overheard the comment and silently spurred his Gundam forward, catching up with Heero and Wing.

"I don't think so," Quatre said as they rode along. "We really shouldn't be fighting each other, you know? We have enough enemies as it is, what with Quinze, Relena, Oz, and everyone else. And let's not forget we're not supposed to ruin Image's drawing."

Trowa nodded at the logic. "True." A slight smile curled the boy's lips. "It would have been interesting though," he said, "To see who would win between the two of us."

Quatre's face gave a flushed grin. "I think you already know the answer to that, don't you."

Trowa was about to say something, but the pair was interrupted by an explosion. They pulled their Chibi Gundams to a halt and looked up in surprise.

Before them stood a life size Wing and Deathscythe, poised and ready to kick the other's mechanical rear.

"Omae o korosu!" Heero's voice shouted through the speakers.

"Tsk tsk, you've already used that line in this chapter. And recently too. Can't you come up with more original material?" That of course was Duo. Who else would it have been?

Trowa and Quatre exchanged glances.

"This doesn't look good, does it?"

"Not at all. Should we try to stop them?"

"Feel free to try. But I wouldn't suggest it."

"I agree." The two boys started to discreetly withdraw from the would-be battlefield and into the nearby woods. They carefully navigated their way through the forestry, careful not to announce the presence of their Chibi Gundams. They stopped when they heard a siren. It sounded as if an Oz base was just being attacked, though they knew it was more likely Duo and Heero duking it out. The urged their Chibi Gundams to move a little faster. They reached a bridge and crossed it in a hurry. Finally reaching the edge of the forest, they emerged right back where they started. In front of Deathscythe and Wing.

"How did that happen?"

"I'm not sure."

"Oh, that was us," came the voice of Mirror. "We can't have you spending to much time away from grown ups, can we? Besides, we want you to see this."

Sighing, the pair rode their Chibi Gundams to a defendable position. Trowa made sure his gattling gun was loaded, and Quatre started heating up his hand held scythes. The two boys prepared for the worst as Heero and Duo traded threats with each other. After the two started repeating themselves, they readied their Gundams for actual battle.

Rather dramatically, the two life size Gundams darted straight for each other. They were about to meet in a thunderous crash when the earlier Oz sounding siren reasserted itself. The noise was much closer this time, and the two life sized Gundams, along with the two Chibi Gundams, looked to see what all the commotion was about.

Off in the distance, a blurred figure came racing towards them. Trowa and Quatre got ready for an attack. Deathscythe managed to look surprised. And Wing, if possible, looked ticked that its fight was interrupted. Wing took aim with its buster rifle and fired. Hot yellow energy shot out and flew at the dark, menacing object that was approaching them at such speed. The thing swerved, attempting to dodge he shot, but Heero's aim was too good. This _is_ Heero we're talking about. The shot nicked the dark red object and it went flying out of control. It flew this way and that, much like a balloon that's just been popped. It shot past them and off into the distance.

Wing turned calmly back to Deathscythe, who had a large sweat drop painted on its faceplate.

"Where were we?" Heero asked from his cockpit.

"Nani? Oh. I was just about to kick your butt," Duo answered. Though no one could see inside the cockpit, the boy had a patented wicked grin on is face. He was going to enjoy this.

The two life-size Gundams backed up a ways and then stood poised, like they had before, and once again they darted straight toward each other. And once again, just as they were about to collide, that red mobile suit got in the way. More specifically, this time it rammed, however accidentally, into Wing. Such a collision finally made it stop long enough fro Trowa and Quatre, who were still hiding with their Chibi Gundams in their defendable spot, to identify the MS.

"Isn't that Epyon?" Quatre asked.

Trowa's reply was drowned out by a cry of outright rage from Heero's speakers as Wing aimed his buster rifle again and shot at Epyon at point blank range. I don't care what that suit's made of, nothing can withstand a ticked off Heero. Several pieces of Epyon suddenly came flying off, petrified of being blasted (A spoonful of gunpowder does make you self destruct, remember?). The poor mobile suit fell to the ground, defeated. Duo and Heero stepped out of their Gundams to inspect the wreck. Trowa and Quatre came out of their hiding place to see as well. But they were two close to the ground to get a good look at anything, so they took Duo's lifeline and joined the braided pilot.

"Oi, Heero. You killed him," the American said.

Heero shrugged from Wing. "He was annoying me."

The three other pilot's sweat dropped.

The dead Epyon suddenly made a noise. Heero pulled out a gun, as did Duo and Trowa, and Quatre hid behind his "brother". The red mobile suit's cockpit opened up slowly. It could only do so part way, since it had been blasted to bits. A smaller red blur whooshed out of the cockpit and raced up Wing and started to climb up Heero.

"Hide me! Hide me! Hide me!" the little red thing said.

Heero finally managed to grab the thing by the tail. It turned out to be a fox. A Chibi little red fox that wore a gray mask and had a platinum streak of fur down it's back.

"Hide me! Hide me! Hide me!"

"Zechs! What are YOU doing here?"

The fox looked over to the Wing pilot. "I'm playing Hide and Seek. I'm it, and I don't intend to loose. Now hide me! Hide me! Hide me!"

"Hide you?" Trowa called from Deathscythe's platform. "From whom?"

At that moment, right on cue, that siren blasted itself for a third time. The four pilots looked in its direction, and Chibi Fox Zechs squirmed harder in Heero's grip, trying to break free and run. But then again, in Heero's tight fist, he wasn't going anywhere.

As the siren approached, a greenish colored Aires became visible. It landed softly, missing Chibi Heavyarms and Chibi Sandrock by mere inches as it did so.

"I've got you now Zechs!"

Heero had never heard the voice before, but Duo, Trowa, and Quatre had.

"Is that--?" asked Duo.

The Aires' cockpit opened to reveal:

"Constable Noin?" all three pilots on Deathscythe exclaimed. Duo added, "What are you doing here?"

"Playing Hide and Seek with Zechs," she replied. Noin nimbly climbed up Wing and petted the Chibi Fox. "Gotcha," she whispered.

"I lost!" Zech shouted. "I hate loosing! I demand a rematch! Just let me get in my Tallgeese and you'll see some REAL action! I'll even handicap myself!" The fox turned to his captor. "Heero, let me go!"

Heero, meanwhile, completely dumbstruck by the entire scenario, didn't say anything. He considered his options.

"If you give him to me, I'll make sure he doesn't interrupt you again," Noin said softly, eyeing her prey with a keen eye.

Heero took that in. Shrugging he tossed the fox to the Constable. "Here."

Noin grabbed Chibi Fox Zechs and snuggled him tight. "You can handicap yourself in the next game. Which I think we should play just as soon as we're out of this chalk painting. Don't you agree?" she cooed. She petted the little fox behind the ears.

"And what's our next game?" the masked fox said.

Noin whispered something in his ear, and the red fox suddenly got even redder. A canine smile crossed his face. "Good choice," he said in a low voice. He hopped up onto Noin's shoulder and sat there, rubbing his mask against her hair. The pair climbed down Wing and back into Noin's Aires. The engine's ignited and it took off into the chalky blue sky, never to bee seen again for the rest of the fic.

"Well that was pointless," said Duo. The boy shrugged. "So, where to next?"

"Before anyone answers that," said Trowa. "Could you either shrink your Gundams down or have ours grow. Otherwise it will be very difficult for us to keep up with you."

Heero thought about it. "Fine," he said. The boy snapped his fingers and everything returned to their normal Chibi selves. Smiling, the two brothers climbed aboard their Chibi Mobile Suits and the four once again took to riding down the countryside. The fox hunt over, there was only one more item on the itinerary.

The four bounced up and down the road until they came to a large bush, stretched out to act as a wall. Trowa and Quatre paused in front of it, unsure what to do. But Heero knew what was beyond those leaves and simply leapt right over it. It was easy for him, since even Chibi Wing could fly. Once he did so, he found himself in the middle of a track of some kind.

"Oi, Heero! Wait for me!" That was Duo as he too leapt over the leafy wall. Just as soon as he landed, Heero took off down the track. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Look behind you, baka!" Heero called over his shoulder. The braided youth did so and found himself dead in the path of a heard of horses, topped with riders, as they raced toward him and his Chibi Gundam. Yelping and cursing, Duo ignited Chibi Deathscythe's thrusters and lifted himself up over the race. As the last of the horses raced under him, Trowa and Quatre entered through a gate. Leave it to them to be sensible about these things.

Anyway, Heero raced ahead of the other horses. It was not even close. Heero crossed the finish line first, no questions asked. The review board watching the race, commented on how it was an excellent time, a perfect day for it of course. All the normal things people comment on after seeing a race. After receiving the trophy and the flowers (which were promptly thrown away), Heero was swarmed by reporters asking all sorts of questions. Hey, it's the thing reporter's do. Someone asked if he had any words to say.

The stoic pilot shrugged. "Not particularly." He glanced over to Duo, who was sitting on a guardrail as Trowa and Quatre ate candied apples.

True to form, the braided pilot hopped off the fence and marched over to him.

"What are you talking about? There's a perfect word for just such an occasion!"

Now who was manipulating whom here?

Heero inwardly grinned as he continued to bait the other pilot. "And what word is that?"

Duo took a deep breath.

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's supercalifragilisticexpialidosious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious!"

"That's enough of that," Heero interrupted before the song could continue. He pointed his frilly umbrella gun up to the sky, and with a spoonful of gunpowder, it suddenly turned very gray. And it started raining. Grinning, Heero opened up his umbrella gun and motion for everyone to get under it. Once they did, they watched with a slightly sad look as the chalk painting, that Image had worked so hard on, slowly smudged and smeared; becoming nothing more that a colored mess on the concrete pavement before them.

"I hope that was supposed to happen," Duo said. His voice was a little tight with nervousness. "If it wasn't, Image'll find a way to kill me."

"Then change business," Trowa suggested.

"Yes," agreed Quatre. "This would be great chestnut weather. Whatever that means."

Duo nodded. Heero lead the other children back home as Duo picked up the chalks. Image really WOULD kill him if he ruined them. But he still couldn't help having fun. He started kicking the wet drawing around, sliding the chalk around the sidewalk. He walked off into the park, humming away.

* * *

Go to Part Four


	4. Part Four

**Part Four**

* * *

Heero handed a spoon to Quatre and Trowa, saving one for himself. He poured out a liquid that came in three different colors, one color per spoon. Quatre was the only one who commented.

"Tea? I thought this was medicine?"

"It is."

"Um, right." Mission completed, Heero went to his corner of the nursery and got out a gun to polish.

"Heero!" the twins shouted. "You're supposed to sing!"

"I. Will. Not. Sing. A. Lullaby." Various mumbles and grumbles were heard before Mirror was suddenly by Quatre and Image by Trowa, both whispering in the latter's' ear. Both pilots smiled and nodded, letting the twins disappear.

"Ne, Heero-nanny?" Quatre asked. "Could you read us a bedtime story?" A book appeared in his lap.

"No."

"I think you'll like this one," Trowa added quietly.

"Doubtful."

"The book is called _Killer Angels_," Quatre said.

"No," Heero said forcefully, trying to recall where he'd heard that title before.

"You don't like books about wars?" Trowa queried.

Heero raised an eyebrow. Oh that book. Semi-fictional interpretation of the battle of Gettysburg. It definitely caught his interest. Heero pulled a chair between the two beds and looked the book over.

"Hey, why a book written in 1974?" Heero called to the ceiling. "It's supposed to be 1910."

"Details details!" one of the twins answered.

"Mission accepted."

* * *

Wu Fei entered the dining room the following morning to a rather bizarre scene. Nothing looked out of place, nor did anyone in the room act differently, but something was amiss.

"Did you put the rotten food into my bag?" Sally was asking Catherine.

"Yes. The rally will go well today with those rotten eggs," the lousy cook answered. "Now if you'll excuse me."

"Sally-chan," Wu Fei said. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?"

"Something's not right this morning."

"Really? I haven't noticed." They sat down. "By the way," Sally continued, "since you've hired Heero Yuy, the most amazing things come over the household."

"Really?" Maybe that was what was wrong.

"Yes, for example look at Relena. She hasn't broken a single dish all day, nor has she insulted Trowa." That _was_ an achievement. "Also, Catherine and Relena always fight like Mobile Suits, but lately…"

Sally was cut off as Catherine came out, holding the door for Relena. Wu Fei looked on in shock. Relena set down the dishes, handed out breakfast and curtsied before leaving.

"What? How?"

"It's very simple, dear," Sally said. "Everyone fears Heero, so they'll do anything to prevent him from getting angry."

"Someone like that should be working for the Preventers," Wu Fei stated.

"True, but Trowa and Quatre couldn't be happier. They haven't gotten into any trouble and they seem brighter than before." As if on cue, said boys marched into the room. In good fashion, they saluted their "father", handed a bouquet to their "mother" and came to attention by the table.

Trowa gave Quatre a little nudge and the petite blond saluted and spoke clearly, as a solider would. "Otou-san," he said. "Heero, or rather Duo, has taught us the most wonderful word."

"Oh?" Wu Fei asked. "And what is that?"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious," Trowa stated.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious," Quatre repeated.

"Sooplica…supofrag…x..p..?" The Chinese boy shoved a forkful of food into his mouth and looked at the "children" again. "There is no such word." He started to wonder what Mirror and Image were up to. The twins appeared, looking very innocent.

"Why Wu Fei?" Image said, her voice dripping in sugar. "Why would you suspect us-"

"-of doing anything?" Mirror finished. Both looked all the more innocent and disappeared.

Clearing his throat, Trowa spoke up. "It's something to say when you don't know what to say."

"Whatever," Wu Fei snorted motioning for them to leave.

"Are you well?" Sally asked once they were gone.

"Of course. I feel fine."

"You seem out of sorts this morning."

"…perhaps it's the Preventers. Things still aren't going well."

"Well," Sally said, giving her husband a peck on the cheek. "I hope today goes better for you."

"Arigatoo."

* * *

Heero exited the house with Quatre and Trowa following. When Heero turned to head down towards the park, he was rather surprised to see the "children" going in the other direction, Trowa showing off his balance by walking on the fence.

"Where are you two going?" Heero asked.

"Orders from Okaa-san," Quatre explained. He pointed up to Quinze's bizarre house. "We're not to pass him and break all the China."

The Japanese nanny looked up to see Quinze on the roof.

"GUNDAM SCUM! FIRE LIBRE'S MAIN CANNON!" The nameless flunky appeared.

"No can do, sir," he replied. "Cannon won't turn that far over."

"GUNDAM SCUM! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS INDIGNITY! COME BACK HERE!"

"Very wise woman," Heero stated. "We're going several miles out of our way, but it's probably best that we did." Together, the trio went into town.

As they left the market, several hours later, all three had large grocery bags in tow.

"Heero?" Quatre asked. "Why are we buying food for Catherine-san?"

"Because Onee-san is cooking soup tomorrow." Heero and Quatre paled. "It's not that bad!" defended Trowa.

"But Heero," Quatre asked again. "You're the nanny, so why are you food shopping?"

"Because it is supposed to be Relena's job," Heero replied. "And I wonder how good the soup will be without half bad food."

"I told you her cooking wasn't that bad," Trowa said quietly.

"You mean," Quatre paled further. "That Relena has been getting bad food?" He suddenly turned green.

"She doesn't know what's good for her," Heero stated simply.

Walking down the street, a small dog ran up to them. It was the same dog that had bared the message "This could be you" to Relena. The dog started barking nonstop and Heero was somewhat amused that he understood what the thing was saying.

"Again?"

The dog barked in the affirmative.

"He's not there is he?"

Affirmative.

"Then there's still time." Heero pulled out a gun and pointed it to the grocery bags, which obeyed promptly, leaping out of everyone's arms and heading for their home across town. Trowa and Quatre blinked and Heero started to run down the street.

"Ano?"

"Just come on!" Heero called back, not even slowing down.

"Should we follow?" Trowa asked.

"I don't know," replied Quatre, who smiled. "Say, isn't this the first time we've had alone so far?" The corners of Trowa's mouth started to rise. "I wanted to talk to you about a few things…"

"Now boys," Mirror said, appearing in front of them. Both pilots sweatdropped. Couldn't they ever get some privacy?

"You're supposed to follow Heero!" Mirror commanded.

"But," Trowa said, thinking he had the upper hand, "Heero is long gone by now, following that dog. We wouldn't know where to find him." Quatre smiled as well.

"Turn around." Mirror disappeared and Trowa and Quatre found themselves right in the oncoming path of Heero. It as quite a loud crash.

"Out of my way!"

"Get off of me, kudasai!"

"Umph!" Once all three had sorted who's what went where, they took off again, following the dog that begged them to come.

"Where are we going?" Trowa asked.

"To prevent a disaster." No other answers were forthcoming.

* * *

They reached a small house and went up the steps. Heero swung the door open and saw Duo of all people.

"Duo? What the HELL're you doing here!" The nanny leveled his umbrella gun to the braided youth.

"Heero! This is no time to be jealous. I came over the minute I heard." The Japanese youth did not lower his weapon. Instead he started advancing, causing Duo to step back. Trowa and Quatre looked on in confusion.

"You knew it was contagious, you knew you were susceptible, you knew it was _dangerous_, so why the _hell_ are you here alone with her _unsupervised_!" He annunciated his words with several steps forward, Duo taking several steps back. The American boy started realizing that this was serious; his normally well maintained braid started sprouting stray hairs and several sweatdrops appeared around him.

"Heero, calm down. Now, let's talk about this. Ne?" Duo took another step back and tripped, crashing through a door and landing on the floor beyond. Heero followed, his gun still trained on the boy.

"Omae o korosu," he said calmly, meaning every word. And I mean _meaning_ every word.

"A … Ano … Heero …" Duo continued to sputter.

Trowa and Quatre, however, were paying no attention to the spectacle. They were looking around the room. Since the pair had entered the house, they'd heard the muffled sound of laughing. Duo and Heero seemed unconcerned about it, more involved with each other at the moment. You understand. Anyway, when the pair had entered the room, the laughing increased in volume and proximity. The two were looking around, trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from. It was a large room, with an arched ceiling and large windows. The furniture was bare minimum-a table with a tea set up, some chairs, and a number of paintings adorning the walls. The floor was hardwood, as were the table and chairs, providing very little to contain the sound of laughing that Trowa and Quatre were hearing. In fact, the room was echoing with them, making it difficult to ascertain where the noise was coming from.

Trowa walked over to Heero and gently pulled on his tank top. "Chotto suminasen," he said politely. "But where is that laughing coming from?"

"Look up," Heero answered, not lifting his gaze from Duo. They had apparently entered a staring contest.

Following orders, Trowa looked up, Quatre following suit. The sight above them caused the Arab to gasp and the circus performer to raise an eyebrow. This time it was the blond boys turn to pull on Heero's tank top.

"Heero," he said nervously. "Constable Noin's on the ceiling."

"What?" Heero asked, generally confused. He looked up, giving Duo a chance to roll out from under the umbrella gun and move a safe distance away from the cobalt eyed boy.

"That's not Constable Noin," Duo said brightly from his sage position, glad he was still breathing. "That's Aunt Hilde."

"Aunt Hilde?" Trowa and Quatre said in unison. The pair looked up to the hysterical person floating around, only barely being able to sing a song about laughing The girl's back was too them. She bounced this way and that, much the same was Duo would on the ground. When she finally turned herself around, she showed a face almost identical to Constable Noin's save for the fact that it was much younger and cheerful looking.

Heero scowled. "Aunt Hilde, you promised."

"Heheheheheheheh hahahahahahahahahah! I know, Heeeeeheheheheheroooooororo. I tried. Hahahahahahaha. I tried but hahahaha, I can't heeehehehelp myself. Hmmmmhmhmhmmmm. You can seeheheheh that! I just like laughing, that's all!" The line somehow struck her funny and sent her in another wave of giggles, hehes, hahas, and the occasional hmhm. It was all very amusing, and Quatre was soon smiling, trying very hard to stifle a laugh.

"I lohohoohohve to laugh! Hahahaha. Loud and long and cleheheheher! I love to laugh! Hahahah, it's getting worse every year!" Hilde was trying very hard to sing, and had she had a straight face she might have sounded very nice indeed. But trying to breathe correctly when laughing, let along singing is very difficult and Aunt Hilde couldn't quite pull it off. It was, however, very funny listening to her. And Quatre was soon giggling uncontrollably. Duo was already in a full out guffaws.

Heero rolled his eyes, totally immune to such immature and pointless behavior. He stole a steely glare to Duo, who immediately shut his mouth. But he was still laughing.

"Some people laugh through their noses," Heero said instead of sang.

Marshall Novente showed up and gave an example of such a laugh. He then promptly disappeared.

"Dreadful," Heero said with utter disgust.

Meanwhile up on the ceiling, Hilde was fighting a hard battle to keep herself under control. She was loosing. About all she could manage was a snakish sound threw her teeth.

"Some people laugh through their teeth," Heero continued to say.

Next to appear was Minister Darlian. He also gave s prime example of laughing threw one's teeth.

"They don't sound much better." Heero crossed his arms and looked away, bored. Quatre was starting to graduated from giggles.

Duo picked up where Heero had left off. "Some laugh to fast-" Mirror appeared, did her example, and left. "Some only blast!" That was Image as she made her appearance.

"Others they twitter like birds." Duo pointed, and the floating camera panned over to see Quatre giving a good example of that. Trowa was by his side.

"Then there's the kind what can't make up their mind!" Duo himself took that example as he gave a perfect imitation of Dick Van Dykes version. All the way down to the "Heuh?" at the end.

That sent Hilde in another reel of laughter, and she could not get out a coherent word for her next line. But Duo, who'd been laughing since this song started, took his cue and started floating up, walking as he did so, to Aunt Hilde.

"Oh, hi!" Hilde managed. "Glad you could turn up!" She greeted Duo with a warm hug, which sent Heero into a red faced rage to quiet for anyone to hear over the pair laughing on the ceiling. And even if anyone could hear it, we're not about to repeat it. So there nay!

Moving right along, the pair (not that Heero would call them a pair) continued to sing very badly on the ceiling, bouncing and swinging all over the place. It wasn't long until Quatre, now incapacitated with laughter, floated up to join them. Trowa looked up as the boy did so, sad that he could not laugh. Heero came over and joined him.

"Why aren't we up there?" he asked quietly. The boy was only barely heard over the riotous laughter above him.

"We don't laugh," Heero answered. "At least not as much as they do. It's contagious only to those susceptible to it."

"Oh."

"Oi, Heero!" Duo called from his place on the chandelier. "Come on up! The gravities fine! It's just like on the colonies."

Heero mutter something before replying, "Why should I? You seem perfectly happy on your own up there." The nanny pulled a watch out from somewhere and looked at it. "According to British culture, it's time for tea."

"Tea?" Quatre said, currently in the middle of doing a summersault in midair. "I love tea! And I see a tea set on the table down here! This is great!"

Trowa walked over to the table. "It's getting cold," he called up. "Why not come down here while it's still a little warm."

"Well," Hilde said. "I _had_ hohohohohped, that maybehehehe, that you would just, that-" She was interrupted as the tea table inexplicably started raising itself to the ceiling. "Oh wonderful!" she exclaimed. "This is great! Heero, Trowa, come and join us!"

Heero rolled his eyes. "If I must I must." He almost negligently started floating up to the table, leaving poor Trowa all by his lonesome on the floor.

"Trowa, come on up!" Quatre urged. The boy just stared up at him, unable to produce a laugh even if he wanted to. The little Arab frowned. "Heero," he said, turning to the nanny. "Can't you do anything?" The boy started to slowly sink. "I want Trowa up here with us. Please?"

"Oh, alright," Heero said, unable to resist those big eyes. Nobody could resist those eyes, actually, and Quatre knew it. Heero looked down to where Trowa was standing, looking thoroughly depressed.

"Trowa?"

"Hai?"

"Dying hurts like hell."

It took a moment to set in, but Trowa finally started laughing. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get him into the zero gravity up on the ceiling. It also, incidentally, sent Duo and Aunt Hilde into another fit of laughter.

Once Trowa was happily with his brother, said blond started pouring the tea. "Who likes sugar?"

"Me! Me me me!" Duo grabbed the lumps of sugar out of Quatre's hands and dumped the entire contents into his teacup. Sweatdropping slightly, Quatre continued to pour the tea, handing the cups to their respective owners. Trowa was the only one to accept it tactfully. Heero was busy staring angrily at Duo, who was already eating the sugar and entering a sugar high surprisingly fast, and Hilde was still laughing. She would have been rolling on the floor, except, well, you know. Quatre poured his own tea and drank it thoughtfully.

"This is good," he commented.

"Thank you," Aunt Hilde managed, finally getting at least partial control over herself. "My sides hurt," she mentioned as she reached weakly for her cup. "And so does my face, I think I'm gonna cry I'm so happy." She started to giggle again, showing signs of loosing control. She kept herself quiet, however, due to the cold anger emanating from Heero. "I want to thank you ALL for coming," she said, trying to appease the ticked off nanny. "I'm having such a good time."

"Speaking of time," Duo said cheerily. "It reminds me of this guy I know. He's got this job at a watch factory."

"Really? What does he do?" Hilde asked, intrigued.

Heero interrupted. "He stands there and makes faces. Duo, it's been used and it's not even that funny."

Duo fidgeted under the blue eyed stare. Actually, he would have fidgeted anyway, all the sugar was making him giddy. He wanted to do something downright hilarious. But what? His mind was going to fast to come up with a coherent idea. That thought seem to strike him funny, and he started laughing again. Hilde was going to follow suit, but Heero kicked her under the table. Instead of laughing, she winced.

"You know," Quatre said. "Nothing like this has ever happened to us. Is this kind of thing a normal occurrence?"

"Only in this fic," Heero answered. "If this starts happening regularly, threats or not I'm going to have a serious talk to those twins. This is humiliating." He emphasized his point by pointing to the sugar high Duo, who was doing all sorts of acrobatic flips and summersaults in the air, giggling all the way. "You'd think he could sit properly at the table."

"Speaking of names," Duo interrupted for no reason. "I know a Gundam with a system named Zero."

Hilde joined in. "What's the name of the Gundam?" She, Duo, and Quatre went through another episode of laughter, and Duo continued to work off the extra energy by dancing on the ceiling and the walls. Heero turned to the floating camera.

"You see what I mean?"

"Oh, that was funny!" Hilde finally managed to say. "I wish you all could stay here."

"We might as well have to," said Quatre as he finished his tea. "There's no way to get down. Is there?"

Hilde frowned, already sinking slightly at the thought. "There is, though I don't like mentioning it. You have to think of something sad."

"About time," Heero muttered. He looked to the Noin double. "Do get on with it."

"Hn," Hilde mumbled, her brow creased in thought. "Oh, I know. A few weeks ago, the lady who lives down the block, died in childbirth."

"Oh, that's sad," said Quatre empathetically. Trowa's face also darkened. Even the hyperactive Duo paused, all three boys starting to sink.

"Yes, she died under a birch tree. When her husband came home, the midwife went up to him and said, 'You now have a son. What will you call him?'"

Trowa looked up. "A son of a birch?" Everyone looked to him as the quick line set in. Oh well. So much for sad. Everyone cracked up, even the still-angry Heero, at such a line. Poor Mirror and Image fell out of their chairs, unable to type for several minutes, laughing so hard. Whatever sinking they had done was undone as they soared up to knew heights. Literally. Duo, his giggles already enhanced by the sugar high, shot up to be face to face with the ceiling, and everyone else was suddenly level with the tea table again. Laughter ensued for several minutes as the Gundam boys, poor Aunt Hilde who was clutching her sides in pain from laughing so hard, the twins, and even the floating camera that was shaking itself from laughter, fought to regain their composure.

Once everyone had settled down at least marginally, Heero pulled his watch out of hammerspace again.

"It's time to get out of here."

Now THAT had the desired effect on everyone.

"Oh, that's sad," said Quatre, sinking immediately. Trowa silently followed suit.

"That IS sad, that's the saddest thing I ever heard," Hilde cried out as she sank to the floor. Her big sky blue eyes filled with tears as Heero and the boys headed for the door.

"Ne, Heero, do you want me to sit with her a while?" Duo asked. He had sunk considerably, but his rampant sugar induced high still kept him about a foot off the ground.

The nanny turned to the pauper. "No." Heero grabbed the Americans braid and started pulling him out the door; a simple thing to do since Duo couldn't plant his feet to the ground in order to resist. "The last thing I ... we need is for you to be alone with that girl. You'll probably get her up to the ceiling again and we'd be right back where we started." The two boys joined Trowa and Quatre outside and began casually walking down the street. Despite the stares and comments of the floating Duo.

* * *

Go to Part Five


	5. Part Five

**Part Five**

* * *

"GUNDAM SCUM! FIRE LIBRE'S MAIN CANNON!"

Wu Fei nimbly dodged the cannonball with ease. In fact, he hardly even noticed it. His mind was elsewhere are the moment. Two elsewheres actually. One encircled around the Preventers, the other around Yuy and what he was doing to the household. Granted, it could be considered a good thing, but why was it that talent like that, or even that of his "children", wasted while he had to work his tail off to provide for them? It wasn't fair! Where was the justice in this?

These thoughts continued to darken his mind as he stepped into his home.

"Otou-san we're so glad you're home! We had the most wonderful afternoon!" Quatre ran up to Wu Fei, ready to hug the boy until seeing the look on the youths face. Trowa followed close behind.

"I heard an interesting joke today. Several, actually. Would hearing one improve your current disposition?"

Wu Fei stared at Trowa. That was more than Trowa had ever said combined to him since he'd entered this fanfic.

Quatre pulled for attention. "It was so awesome! We met Duo's-or was it Heero's?-Aunt Hilde."

"Of which," Trowa said over his brother, making Wu Fei turn to him. "The were two people who were walking down the street. One said, 'I know a Gundam with a system named Zero'."

Wu Fei blinked. "The only Gundam that _I_ know of is Nataku."

"Oh," said Quatre, getting his attention again. "It was so much fun! Everybody was laughing, even Heero and Trowa!"

Wu Fei turned to the circus performer. "YOU were laughing?"

"Well, it was funny. Anyway, the second person asked the first, 'What's the name of the Gundam?' Isn't that amusing?"

Wu Fei blinked.

"Heero said that if we're good little soldiers he'll take us there again."

Wu Fei looked up to see the culprit walking down the stairs. "Yuy said that did he?" The Chinese youth looked down to his "children". "Go upstairs to bed immediately. I don't want to here a peep out of you." He looked up. "Yuy, come with me." He walked curtly to the drawing room, Heero obediently following. Sally came in.

"Hi darling!" she said cheerfully. She was greeted with stern faces. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Sally-chan. I wish you to be present. Perhaps you'll learn something from this."

Sally shook her head. "I can't Wu Fei. Not right now. I have a rally in Essex that I have to get going to."

Wu Fei rolled his eyes. "Votes for Women again?"

Sally nodded. "It's a good cause whether you like it or not. Now I'm off. To see the Wizard," she added. "The wonderful Wizard of Oz." She pranced out the door. "Because because because becaaaaaauuuuuse!"

Heero and Wu Fei blinked, listening to her fading voice.

"When did Oz have a wizard?"

"I have no idea. Fantasy fic maybe?"

Wu Fei tossed the thought aside for later pondering. He turned to Heero. "Anyway. I want to talk to you. I don't deny I'm at least partially responsible for letting those two," He pointed to the spot on the ceiling where the nursery was. "To waste their time on worthless frivolities. To the exclusion of all else, especially with all these women around to muddle their thinking. I had hoped that you would bring a change in that slipshod thinking. You haven't. In fact, you've encouraged it."

"You're not letting MY Heero go!" Relena marched into the room. And wrapped her arms protectively around the nanny. "I've worked to hard to have you just fire him on the spot like that! You'll have to kill me first."

"Relena," Wu Fei said in an infuriatingly patient voice. "Do you realize that if it wasn't for the fact that you have the ability to unite people, you'd have died in the first episode? Not even you're pacifism is important enough to keep you alive. And in this fic, you're not really needed." He pulled out a gun "You brought this on yourself."

"Oh, please. Let me," Heero said. Wu Fei sized him up and lowered his weapon.

Heero slowly pried the now pale Relena off of him and pulled out his umbrella gun. He fired.

"Heero-kun, no!" Relena was hit and there was a violent puff of smoke. Heero and Wu Fei coughed for several minutes as the smoke spread in the room. When it finally cleared, Relena was no where to be found. The two boys looked around; there was no blood, no wisp of wheat blond hair, nothing to indicate where she had gone. The only clue was the dog that stood in her place. It wore a jacket; and on it were the embroidered words "We warned her."

Heero understood the meaning of those words and leveled his umbrella gun to the dog. "Only one person call me 'kun'. And you're not him."

Image took her turn and popped up. "Now, now, Heero. She's so much more useful as a dog. Now you have the opportunity to kick her out. And you can feed her dog food and give her shots, not to mention training her to fetch your slippers or the newspaper. She has to sleep outside in the rain of course, and you'll have to train her to go on hydrants and stuff. And if she doesn't obey you, you can threaten to abandon her. Besides, if all else fails, remember what a spoonful of gunpowder does."

By now a wicked grin came over Heero's face, and Relena was backing away, her tail between her legs. Satisfied, Image turned to Wu Fei and motioned him to continue before disappearing.

"As I was saying," Wu Fei said loudly. Heero turned to the Chinese pilot, though he occasionally glanced at Relena. "You have been very disappointing in the rearing of Trowa and Quatre. Popping in and out of chalk painting, consorting with race horse person? Fox hunting indeed! And now tea parties on the ceiling, that horrible joke. That ridiculous word, superexpifragil … supercautious … super …"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious," Heero stated.

"Yes, that. Is serves no use. There's no need for it! You need rules, tradition, discipline! Those boys are the same age as me! They should learn-"

"About the life you lead," interjected the Japanese nanny.

"Exactly."

"Here they are, same age as you and they get to play all sorts of games while you risk you life going to work and then risk your life at work."

"Yes."

"Boys at that age should at the very least have a part time job, some form of responsibility. Their talents should be utilized to their utmost."

"Precisely."

"It's time they learned to walk in your footsteps. To realize that life isn't easy. It's a hard reality where people die. The wrong people are put in charge, and the person who should be leading instead has split personalities. They have to realize that you're often understaffed, and the assignment you take are often almost impossible to accomplish. After all, who ever said their could be such a thing as total pacifism? If there were, there'd be no need for people like you."

"Splendid! You hit the nail right on the head."

"Right. I'll make sure the boys are ready for you tomorrow."

Wu Fei paused. "What? Why? Are we going somewhere?"

Heero turned to him from the staircase. "Yeah, to the Preventers, exactly as you proposed."

"I proposed?"

"Hai. I'm the nanny, I'll make sure they get a good nights sleep." Heero walked up the stairs to the nursery with no further incident.

Wu Fei sat down, mulling the idea over his head. "Hn. Quite right. Good idea. I'm glad I thought of it.

* * *

Heero walked into the nursery and closed the door behind him, a grin of total satisfaction on his face. Not only had he managed to successfully convinced Wu Fei to give him a day off, but he also had the added bonus of having Relena as a dog! As Image had said, the possibilities were endless. All the various scenarios were very pleasing to his mind. Maybe this fanfic wasn't so bad after all.

"I take it things went well?"

Heero looked over to Trowa and Quatre. The pair were dressed in their pjs, (they looked soooooooo cute in them) and in their respective beds. Quatre had taken out _Killer Angels_ again and they were ready to hear about Chamberlain's famous charge.

"Yes, things went very well."

Quatre had a hopeful look in his eyes. "Then you mission wasn't aborted? You get to stay with us? You weren't sacked?"

Heero gaped at the blond Arab. "I NEVER abort a mission. Once accepted a mission is always completed. How dare you suggest I do otherwise!" Slightly miffed, but really to pleased with himself to be so for too long, he went into his room of the nursery and picked up a snow globe. "In any case," he said. "You're supposed to get a good night sleep for tomorrow."

Trowa eyed the nanny suspiciously. "Why? What are we doing tomorrow?"

"You're going on an outing with your father," he replied calmly.

The two boys blinked, looked at each other, looked back to Heero, and blinked again.

"An outing? Where?"

"To his workplace, the Preventers."

Quatre perked up. "The city! Oh, this is great; we get to see all the sights! Maybe Otou-san can point them out to us."

Heero sat down between their beds. "Well, most things he can. Sometimes a little thing can be quite important." He showed the pair the snow globe.

Quatre's eyes once again lit up as he grabbed it from the nanny's hand. "This is the cathedral. Otou-san passes that every day. And I know someone else who goes there every day, too."

Trowa looked over to his brother. "Oh? Who?"

Quatre took a deep breath. "Early each day to the steps of St. Paul, the little old Iria comes," he sang. Heero stifled a groan, but Trowa's attention was captured as he listened to the little blond.

"In her own special way, to the people she calls, 'Come, buy my bags full of crumbs.

'Come feed the little birds, show them you care! And you'll be glad if you do.

'The young ones are hungry; their nests are so bare. All it takes is tupence, from yo-ou.

'Feed the birds. Tupence a bag. Tupence, tupence, tupence a bag!

'Feed the birds!' That's what she cries. While o'erhead, her birds fill the skies.

All around the cathedral, the saints and apostles look down as she sells her wares.

Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling, each time someone shows that he cares.

Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen she's calling to you!

'Feed the birds, tupence a bag! Tupence, tupence, tupence a bag'."

As Quatre finished his song, one of the twins popped up. "Oh, and I LOVE this song! There's no way I'm cutting it out!" She then disappeared.

"Hey, wait a second." Heero turned to the blond Arab. "How come you actually enjoy singing? They have to threaten my Gundam."

Quatre blinked at the blue-eyed nanny. "Really? They don't threaten me at all. In fact, they asked me to sing that song, since Iria's my sister and because you hate singing so much."

"Soo desu ka?" Heero asked, forgetting that not everyone knew Japanese.

"Hai," Quatre replied. "Besides, I like singing. I don't get a violin in this fic, so I have to make do. And in any case, Trowa seems to like my voice. Ne, Trowa?"

Both Heero and Quatre looked over to see Trowa sound asleep in his bed, a faint smile on his face as he unconsciously buried himself deeper into the pillows and blankets.

The other two silently went to their respective beds.

* * *

Wu Fei walked quickly down the crowded street, knowing that Trowa and Quatre were right behind him. He came to a corner by the Cathedral and turned, walking away from it. Trowa stopped at the corner looking around. Quatre turned at the corner and walked in the opposite direction of Wu Fei, heading for the Cathedral.

"Iria!" Wu Fei stopped in his tracks and let out a sigh of long suffering. With Quatre reunited with his sister, he was going to be very late for work. Turning on his heel, Wu Fei turned around and joined Trowa in crossing the street to where Quatre and Iria were hugging.

"It's great to see you again!"

"Same here, Onee-san!" Quatre smiled brightly. "Tupence a bag, right?"

"For your, Nii-chan, it's free," Iria replied happily.

"How are all my other sisters?" Quatre replied.

"Others?" Wu Fei asked. "I thought she was your only sister. How many do you have?"

"Twenty-Nine."

Trowa and Wu Fei were suddenly on the ground. They sat up slowly; several sweat drops forming.

"I knew you had a lot of sisters, but…" Trowa's voice trailed off.

"Did your father want a dynasty or something?" Wu Fei demanded. "Don't you think that 30 children is overkill?"

Quatre stared at them. "I guess so," he said slowly. "I never really thought about it."

"Well," Iria said. "Everyone's fine. So, how has this fic been treating you?"

"Great!" Quatre smiled. "I actually have a mother in this fic!" Iria looked at him.

"You mean to say Father never told you?"

"Huh?" all three boys replied.

"Told me what?" Quatre asked.

"He never said _anything_ about it?"

"Iria, I don't know what you're talking about."

"My dear little Quatre, you aren't a test-tube baby like the rest of us." All three boys hit the steps.

"Whaaaat?"

"You had a mother! I preformed the delivery! I know that Otou-san asked us not to talk about it because it was so painful, but I'd have thought he'd have told you!"

"I have a mother?" Quatre asked, his voice very quiet.

"Yes." Quatre's eyes just filled up with joy. He started to act like Duo on a sugar high, bouncing all over the place in glee.

"All right," Wu Fei said, tapping his foot. "That's enough. Either we leave now, or I'm going to be very late." Trowa and Quatre obeyed.

Once they were gone, the twins appeared by Iria.

"Thank you for finally telling him," Mirror said.

"It obviously meant a lot to him," Image added.

"My pleasure," Iria said, throwing out some more crumb. "I had no idea that Father never told Quatre. Thank you for informing me."

"Our pleasure," they said in unison, disappearing.

* * *

A short time later, the three came to a large building with people running in and out, following some order or another. Wu Fei turned to his "children". "Now remember," he said, "this is a very busy place and very confusing. Don't talk to anyone. Don't touch anything. Don't look into anyone's eyes. Don't wander off. Don't misbehave. Don't anything. Ask me before you do something and I'll tell you if it's safe or not. Do you understand?"

"Hai," Trowa and Quatre said in unison. Together, the three entered the bank like building. They navigated the halls, heading toward the back of the building. They approached a large set of expensively carved doors that could probably withstand a nuclear attack. The doors opened and several people walked out. One was a tall young man, obviously in charge. There was a women with hair pulled back into buns and with a pair of glasses. Several older men followed.

"Wu Fei?" The man said. "What's all this?"

"These are my…. my…"

"Say it!" a disembodied voice shouted.

"Children," Wu Fe finished.

"Tupence?" Everyone whirled around to see a weird old man with long hair pulled back in a braid, walking with a cane, or rather, trying to walk with a cane and not succeeding.

"Exactly how I started!" the old man said. He came to a step and tried to take it. He did come down, almost landing on his posterior. The twins appeared, one on either side of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mirror asked.

"You have to get ready for your next scene!" Image stated.

"But this is my scene!" the voice sounded a lot like Duo. The man stood up straight, tossing aside his came. Yup, it was Duo. "If Dick Van Dyke can do this, so can I!"

"Haven't you been paying attention to the story?" Mirror demanded in exasperation. "We have a character for this scene! Treize is doing very well!"

"And what's this 'tupence' about?" Image added. "We threw out the bank idea! And why aren't you in dress for the next scene?"

"NOOO!" Duo shouted. "You can't make me do that! Do you have any idea how long it will take to wash my hair afterward!"

"Do you want Image to redesign Deathscythe?" Mirror asked.

"I'll take it! Just don't make me do that scene! My hair is too fragile!"

"Hmmm," Image said. "Mirror?"

"Yes?"

"You have a knack with hair don't you?"

"Not really."

"Good, then you can give Duo here a hair cut."

"Great idea."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! OKAY I'LL DO IT I'LL DO IT! JUST LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE!"

"Perfect," the twins said. They disappeared as Duo reverted to his normal appearance and started to float, braid first into the air.

"LET GO OF MY BRAID!" He promptly disappeared before unnecessary words exited his mouth. (We're so cruel…)

Several sweatdrops later…

Treize cleared his throat. "Anyway, why are your 'children' here? This is a very busy place, you realize."

"Precisely," Wu Fei answered. "My children wish to join us."

"We do?" Quatre quietly asked Trowa.

"Really?" Treize said, scrutinizing the two boys. "What aspects do you two have that might improve our workplace here?"

Trowa knew enough to stay quiet. Quatre didn't.

"Um.." Quatre started quietly. "I have a _kokoro no uchuu_ and.."

"You _what_?" Treize demanded. Quatre started to step back, but a wall stopped him.

"Do you have any idea how useful a space heart is?" Treize shouted. "Is your heart a strong one?" Quatre nodded. "Wonderful! With a strong _kokoro no uchuu_ we can determine what informants we can trust, who our allies are, if we have a spy amongst us, the possibilities are endless!"

"I thought you might approve," Wu Fei said.

"Indeed I do! Lady Une," he said, turning to the woman. "Raise his salary. He deserves it. Now young man," he turned back to Quatre and grabbed an arm, pulling him away. Wu Fei grabbed Quatre's other arm and pulled as well. Naturally, Quatre couldn't quite stop his forward motion, but he resisted as much as he could.

"No! I don't want to be used!" He was pulled to the doorway, letting the great engraved door start to shut behind them as Treize and Wu Fei dragged Quatre to his new position. The other heads of the Preventers followed.

Trowa looked on in shock. This could be! They were taking Quatre away? This wasn't right. For Trowa, there was only one alternative.

Pulling out his gun, Trowa leveled it at the receding heads. "Give him back!" he said in a deathly quiet voice. When no one responded, he fired three shots, almost simultaneously. Duke Durmail and Chief Engineer Tuberough went down.

Everything froze. Trowa looked around confused. The third bullet was still in the air, headed for his third target. Why wasn't it moving? Trowa looked around. Why wasn't anyone else moving? He moved to walk toward Quatre, but found he couldn't move as well.

"Now just a minute!" Mirror and Image appeared, both with a scolding look on their faces. "What do you think you are doing?"

"There is to be no on screen death here! This is a tasteful fic!"

"I am aware of that."

"Then why the firing? You've just killed two people!"

"Take another look."

"Huh?" Mirror and Image went over to Duke Durmail and Tuberough. They were only minor wounds. Nothing they could die from. The twins scrutinized Trowa.

"You may have gotten away with this, but watch what you do in the future!" They disappeared and time returned to normal.

The third bullet hit Septem, who fell like a rock. Wu Fei and Treize, seeing that Trowa was rather serious, leg go of Quatre to pull out their own guns. The blonde took advantage of the situation and ran back to Trowa, who grabbed his hand and headed for the front door. Trowa's shots had apparently turned the entire building into a mass of confusion. Preventers were pulling out guns, people were shouting out orders no one was listening to, police officers were trying to get in and see what was going on, the regular British army was also forcing its way in, it was all just chaos.

Trowa found this to his liking and slipped nimbly through the mad crowd, towing Quatre along until they were pushed out the front door. From there, they ran down the streets, avoiding even more bobbies that came running down the street. Trowa deciding to go a different way home because of the large amounts of people who might have seen them leaving the Preventers' headquarters. Right now, they didn't need to be observed.

The taller pilot led them down toward the slum section of London, ducking in and out of alleys, turning corners and going down street after street. Once in Essex, the green-eyed pilot looked around to get his bearings.

"Trowa, I think we're lost," Quatre stated, completely unfamiliar with the area.

"Nope," Trowa replied, recognizing the area. "Cathy-onee-san and I used to work down here."

"Here?" Quatre looked around at the filthy run-down area. "Are you sure? Aren't you two a little more high-class than this?"

"Whatever makes us money. We don't complain," Trowa replied.

"If you says so."

"This way." Unfortunately for Trowa, he took a wrong turn without realizing it. They continued working their way through the maze of streets, all the while getting more and more unfamiliar with Trowa.

"This next corner will have us by a park entrance," at least that's what Trowa hoped, "and we can make it back from there." They turned to corner and discovered: the Thames.

"Trowa, we're lost," said Quatre.

"Oh, ye're lost?" a crackly old voice said behind them. They turned and saw a rather unwelcoming figure with a bottle in his hand looking them over. "I can 'elp ya," he slurred. Quatre didn't like this person. Everything about him screamed untrustworthy, but if he knew a way out of their predicament…

"Arigatoo gozimasu, kind sir," Quatre said politely. "Would you happen to know the way to the park?"

"Yep. Bin that ways lossa times," the man choked out. He took another swig from his bottle. "I'll be showin' ye the way."

"No thank you," Trowa said firmly. "We will not be needing your assistance. C'mon Quatre."

The Arabian looked at Trowa and understood that this _really_ wasn't a trustworthy man. He followed through the twists and turns, ignoring the garbage and people on the street.

After some time, they were in another part of Essex when Trowa finally started to recognize the area. He led Quatre around until he came upon an alley. He started to head down it, but Quatre froze at the entrance.

"What's wrong?" Trowa asked.

"There's danger in that alley, Trowa," he replied. Trowa looked down the alley but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He'd been down this way many times. Did Quatre's _kokoro no uchuu_ sense something?

"It's fine," Trowa said, taking another step.

"Trowa!" Quatre grabbed the taller pilot's arm. "Run!" The blonde took off running, Trowa being dragged behind.

"They knew? GET 'EM!" said a voice from the alley. That confirmed that the Arabian had sensed something.

Trowa and Quatre continued running through town, getting lost once again. "I think, perhaps we lost our pursuers," Quatre said breathlessly, slowing down. He turned a corner and promptly crashed into something of average height, but very black. Looking down, the two pilots saw a very, very dirty Duo.

"Duo?"

"You're a mess!"

"Yup," Duo said darkly. "Thank the twins." Duo stood up, letting the other two get a good look at him. His long braid was caked in soot, his face was covered in dirt, and his clothes were gray with dust. Duo grabbed an arm of each pilot. "I'm supposed to lead you home. Let's go." He angrily led them on.

* * *

Go to Part Six


	6. Part Six

**Part Six**

* * *

The trio exited the park with Duo in a much better mood, thanks to the attempts of Quatre. The black-clad American was happily singing, as he was supposed to, and didn't mind kicking up his knees to get in practice for later on.

"Chim-chiminey chim-chiminey chim-chim-cheree, a Duo's as lucky, as lucky can be! Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim-cheroo, good luck will rub off, when I shake hands with you." Duo shook the hand of a passing stranger, who politely bowed. "Or blow me a kiss," a carriage full of Duo-fans happily obliged him, among other things that they wouldn't do in normal circumstances. "And that's lucky too!" the American sang, catching all the kisses in his hand. Pocketing them, he continued down the street.

Duo quieted down as they passed Quinze's house, but cheerily went up to the Chang door, finishing his song. Quatre rang the bell.

* * *

Inside, Sally Po was putting on some gloves before she went off to another "Votes for Women" rally. She was worried. Wu Fei hadn't come home yet with the children, making him very late; Relena, obnoxious as she was, was still missing; and tonight Catherine was cooking soup. Oh what was next?

A dog came out into the hall and rubbed up by Sally's feet. It had on a vest that said, "We warned her." Not really wanting the extra task of taking care of a pet, Sally had put the dog out several times. But it kept coming back. "Catherine?" Sally called.

"Hai." The knife-thrower came out of the kitchen.

"Do you know where this stray came from?" Catherine shook her head, looking somewhat guilty. Sally didn't have time to deal with that right now. "Then would you be a dear and take it to the pound while your soup cooks?" Catherine smiled a devilish smile.

"Of course." Catherine picked up the animal by the scruff of the neck and went out the servant's door in back. The dog wiggled and struggled every step of the way, trying to bite Catherine. Sally believed that perhaps if the dog was so disagreeable, the pound might put it to sleep.

_:ring ring:_

Now what? Sally opened the door to see Duo with the children. How interesting. "Where's Wu Fei?"

"He had to tie up some loose ends at work," Duo said. "So I brought home these two."

"Domo arigatoo," Sally said hurriedly. She was starting to run late. "Heero will…oh, wait, no, he can't it's his day off."

"It's _what_?" Duo demanded. "I should be out with him right now!" Duo turned on his heel and ran into the previously neglected wall of wind. We weren't letting him get away. "But I was supposed to meet him!" Duo screamed. "You can't do this to me! Why didn't you tell me it was his day off!"

"Don't you know the story?" Mirror demanded. "You were the one who spilled the beans way back in part 1! If you did that, you must have known the story!"

"Well I didn't, so let me go!"

Sally cleared her throat. "How about you, young man? You're a sweep, and our drawing room chimney had been in a ghastly condition for some time now."

"But I want to be with Heero!"

"Thank so much for agreeing," Sally said, dashing through the wall of wind, unperturbed. "Have fun children!" She raced down the street.

Duo muttered all sorts of words under his breath that don't bear repeating and stamped into the house, trailing dirt behind him. Quatre, unpleased with the sudden mess, ran to a linen closet and took out some sheets to cover at least _some_ of the house from the walking dirt cloud.

The dirty American sat down in a huff. Taking out a brush, Duo started to clean the chimney. Trowa and Quatre watched.

"You see, a chimney is built real tall," Duo explained, releasing his anger with each brush-stroke. "So when the wind is just right, it pulls the smoke from the chimney. It's basically a big vacuum." A gust of wind came across the top and tugged. "Trowa, help me out." Trowa obeyed, grabbing the stick of the brush, but Duo let go. Of course the green-eyed pilot went up the chimney.

"Trowa!" Quatre yelled. "Trowa, what happened? Trowa!"

"Duo!" a voice exploded. That was Heero. "Duo where have you been? I've been waiting all day!" Duo looked over in complete innocence.

"It was the twins! They didn't tell me it was your day off, and dropped me in a pile of dirt and soot for this scene!"

"Oh really?" Image demanded. "And whose idea was it to make like Dick Van Dyke and play the old man at the bank?"

Duo shook his fist at the ceiling. "You never told me it was his day off!"

"You should have known," Heero stated. He looked around. "Where's Trowa?

While the arguing had been going on, Quatre could barely hear a response from his brother, let alone see him. Maybe if he cleared a little of that soot, he might hear Trowa a little better. He grabbed a brush and started brushing. Suddenly, he was pulled up the chimney.

"Duo," Heero started. "What have you been up to?"

"Nothing," said Duo innocently. "Honest! Shall we follow?"

"We have to. Ikou."

* * *

On the roof. . .

* * *

Trowa watched Quatre go sailing into the air and land gently by his side.

"Daijobu desu ka?" the blonde asked, his face filled with concern.

"Daijobu. Daijobu desu ka?"

"Daijobu. Now what?"

"We wait." Sure enough, Heero and Duo came out soon after, floating down as gently as they did.

"You two alright?" Heero said curtly.

"Hai."

"You know," Duo said. "This is what you call a fortuiti-

"Don't," Quatre said firmly. "Don't butcher the language more than it already has been."

Duo looked at Quatre, raising an eyebrow, but shrugged. "Fortunate circumstance. What say we explore the rooftops of London?"

"Exploration?" Quatre's eyes lit up. So naturally, when Quatre _and_ Duo turned with pleading eyes, Heero didn't have a chance. Try as he might not to, he agreed.

"So much for a day off," Heero muttered. "Attention! Assert arms! Right face!" Heero marched in front of them, grabbing a brush so they formed a nice line. No one would get lost this way. "Quick march!" And off they went, meandering around chimneys, jumping gaps between roofs, climbing rails, and going across rooftops.

Quite a while later, it appeared their journey was at an end when they came to a pillar of black smoke and nothing around them. However, a handy spoonful of gunpowder forced the fumes to take the shape of stairs leading up, which they climbed. They came to a steeple top at the top of the stairs, high above the streets of London. From so high up, they could see for miles in any direction, and the view was spectacular.

"That is one of God's greatest gifts," Duo said, his voice quiet with reverence and awe as he watched the sun set over the Cathedral's dome. The dirty American rested his head on Heero's shoulder, his eyes wide with wonder and respect. The blue-eyed youth looked at Duo, his face soft and gentle, but that only lasted for about one second. The Japanese youth shrugged, getting Duo's chin of his shoulder, and looked around.

"Nice view, now let's head back."

"How?" Quatre asked. "We're on top of this building, how will we get down?" Heero pointed out the cloud that had brought them up was still there. Right. Climbing aboard, they started to float down.

As they went down, Heero took a deep breath and sang, " Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey chim-chim-cheree, when you're with Duo, you're in mad company. No where is there a more happier few," Duo joined in with surprisingly good harmony, "then those that sing chim-chim cheree-chim cheroo. Chim-chiminey chim-chim cheree-chim-cheroo!"

Silence.

"Right," Heero said. "Quatre!" he called out.

"What?" the Arab asked "I'm right here."

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!"

"Quatre-sama!" Several heads popped out of chimneys, no matter how tight the fitting.

"Rashid!" Quatre shouted, very happy to see all his friends. "And the rest of the Maguanac Corps! Yokatta!" The little blond ran over and greeted everyone one of his old friends. When he finally did take a seat, Duo took that as his cue.

"Stepping Time! Stepping Time!" The Maguanacs didn't do a thing.

"Please follow him!" Quatre called. Everyone came out, begrudgingly. But with Quatre-sama ordering them to dance though, who could refuse?

The floating camera had a lot of work to do as it followed all sorts of bizarre movements and wire-assisted stunts. With Duo leading it, craziness wasn't an option. It was a guarantee. Tricks were done on railings, chimney tops, roofs, anything available. Finally, Duo stepped in front of a Japanese youth.

"Heero Yuy: Stepping Time!" Duo grabbed Heero's arm and pulled. Heero didn't budge.

"I. May. Be. Forced. To. Sing. But. I. Do. Not. Dance."

"Really?" asked the twins. With another tug from Duo and a wall of wind, Heero suddenly found himself in the death grip of Duo's arms as the braided maniac twirled and danced around. Duo addressed Trowa.

"Hey Trowa?"

"PUT ME DOWN!"

"After I dance-"

"LET ME GO!"

"with Heero, I'm-"

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!"

"supposed to let him-"

"DROP ME RIGHT NOW!"

"lead the Maguanacs-"

"GET OFF ME!"

"in a dance number."

"YOU BAKA!"

"So would you-"

"YOU BASTARD!"

"lead them please?"

"OMAE O KOROSU!"

"You know Heero," Duo said finally addressing the wiggling pilot in his arms. "That line's getting old." The smiling braided maniac twirled. "Besides. I've been waiting all this fic in order to dance with you, and I'm not going to loose this chance."

What came out of Heero's mouth was unprintable. The black clad American merely smiled and danced out of camera range, leaving Trowa to deal with the Maguanacs. Still, this was a chance for the former circus performer to show off his acrobatics.

The tall pilot led the Maguanacs through a few complicated dance steps, then, with a little help from that wall of wind, spun around like there was zero gravity. When he landed, he smiled and bowed to the camera and sat down by Quatre, who was applauding and cheering loudly for Trowa.

With a Trowa sitting out the rest of the dance and Duo somewhere off with Heero, (if they followed Heero's shouting, they'd probably find them, but why bother?) Rashid led the Maguanac Corps through even more dance steps. Ultimately, he led them up to a thin railing and started a kick-line. All around, everyone was having fun.

* * *

"GUNDAM SCUM! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT PREVIOUS INDIGNITY!" Quinze turned to his nameless flunky. "EMPTY THE MAGAZINE! BURN THAT ROOF TO ASHES IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT _GET THOSE GUNDAM PILOTS_!" The flunky smiled cheerfully, obviously a sadist.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the impromptu dance floor, everyone was having a good time, though no one was floating from laughter yet. Quatre was taking a turn in leading the Maguanac Corps, but he didn't do anything nearly as fancy as Trowa or Rashid. Duo and Heero were back, Heero's face red in anger. (Or was it anger?) And Duo was smiling brightly. So naturally, it took everyone by surprise when they suddenly started taking fire.

"K'so," Heero muttered. "Quinze must have seen us." Suddenly, all forty-four persons on the roofs congregated around only one chimney, falling down one at a time. Trowa and Quatre were already at the chimney, but Heero and Duo were farther back in the pack.

Keeping an eye on Quinze's roof and everything coming from there, Heero led Duo through the crowd. The cobalt-eyed youth saw a missile coming right for the violet-eyed idiot. With no other options, Heero pointed his umbrella gun at the missile. Said missile kindly turned around and went in the opposite direction. That gave them the opportunity they needed to get to the chimney and jump down.

Inside the Chang house, Catherine exited the kitchen to see about 25 men dancing around in the drawing room, all of them covered in soot and dirt, getting it all over the place. Her reaction was quite natural. "Aaaaaaaahhh!" The Maguanacs followed suit.

"Aaaaaaaahhh: Stepping Time. Aaaaaaaahhh: Stepping time. Never need a reason, never need a rhyme. Aaaaaaaahhh: Stepping Time!" Catherine replied with a frying pan in her hand.

"Onee-san!"

"Trowa?"

"Please don't hit them. They're friends of Quatre's." Catherine scrutinized the now 40 men dancing around.

"They're sweeps. How would Quatre-sama know sweeps?"

"Quatre-sama: Stepping Time!"

"Rashid!" That was Quatre. Where had he come from? Catherine looked around. He was talking to a very tall bearded man. "Rashid, thank you for all the fun, but please go home. This house doesn't need any more dirt or soot."

"Hai, Quatre-sama."

Rashid opened the door to see Wu Fei standing there, face white in surprise. Rashid grabbed the Chinese youth's hand and shook it. "Have a good evening." One by one, all of the Maguanacs left, each shaking Wu Fei's hand. Still bursting with energy, the Maguanacs continued dancing in the street, doing various flips, cartwheels and other assorted stunts as they took off for the park. Constable Noin came across them while doing her rounds, but she was merely incorporated into the dance as two Maguanacs used her to kick themselves up into the air. When they all finally disappeared out of camera range, Constable Noin merely shook her head.

"Just another day at work," she said, continuing about her duties.

* * *

Go to the Finale


	7. Finale

**Finale**

* * *

Back inside the Chang household, Wu Fei, Catherine, Heero, Trowa, and Quatre were staring at the now closed door, each one showed a varied level of astonishment (or in Wu Fei's case, fury).

"Otou-san!" Quatre exclaimed as he realized something. "Everyone of the Maguanacs shook you're hand. You're going to be the luckiest person in the world!"

"That's enough of that," Heero interjected, seeing the look on the Chinese youths face. "Let's get you two cleaned up." He started walking up the stairs.

"Yuy!" Wu Fei shouted, his entire frame shaking in anger. The nanny stopped. "Would you be good enough to EXPLAIN all this?" He gesticulated wildly to the now filthy house that Catherine was trying futily to clean. She was just a cook, after all, she couldn't handle cleaning. But she dared not complain for fear of getting Relena back. "What did you DO?"

Heero's eyes narrowed and his already hard face hardened even more. He ominously handled his umbrella gun The black soot in his face gave a crisp look to his eyes, and a low growl came from his throat. He was mad. Scratch that. He was pissed.

Trowa, Quatre, and Catherine, sensing imminent bloodshed, discretely left the foyer. The boys headed up to the nursery to clean up, and the cook suddenly remembered her soup. Wu Fei and Heero were left in their staring contest, neither boy backing down. They glared at each other for several minutes, not a sound was made during that time. Neither boy moved, neither boy blinked. It wasn't until the tumbleweed started blowing by them did someone make a move.

"First of all I would like to make one thing quite clear."

"Yes?" Wu Fei asked hesitantly.

"I didn't do anything," he stated, closing the subject. Before Wu Fei could react, Heero crisply walked up the stairs, trailing soot behind him.

The comment sent Wu Fei even further into his rage. His face was white, his body was shaking to control himself, and his eyes were that of a wild man. (Wild thing! Da da da da You make my heart sing! Da da da da You make e-verything .. Groovy! Wild thing!) The boy finally took off his hat, ready to throw it, break it, anything to release his anger. He was tempted to scream, but he wanted to keep his lungs, thank you. The phone rang, making Wu Fei jump and suddenly giving him a means of venting his anger. He picked up the receiver.

"What!" he snapped in the hardest voice he could muster. He listened to the reply and his face went white not with anger, but with surprise. "Oh! Oh, gomen nasai! Hai …Hai … hai, I take full respon-…. Hai … hai … I most humbly apolog-… hai … Headquarters? Nine o'clock. Hai … hai …Dewa konban .. Hai. Sayonara." He hung up the phone, looking totally dejected.

Wu Fei shuffled defeatedly into the drawing room, mildly registering that Duo was still in the room, picking up his brushes and tying them together. How did he manage to stay quiet for that long? Ignoring the question, the Chinese youth sat down on a sooty cloth covering his favorite chair.

"A man has dreams," he sighed.

"Of walking with giants?"

"No," Wu Fei corrected. "Of being a warrior. A man of strength, of justice. A man who when given a mission, can complete it knowing that it does something good for the colonies. A warrior who fights bravely and proudly, whose only opponents are other strong warriors. To upon my death have people say, 'That was true man'. And now it's not even my prime and all my ambitions are dashed. I've been brought to rack and ruin, and it's all Yuy's fault."

Since the nanny wasn't there to defend himself, Duo took it upon himself to defend the Japanese youth. He promptly took offense to the remark.

"How in the hell could it be Heero's fault!" he demanded.

Wu Fei looked at the braided sweep with a weary look of suffering. "It's easy enough to explain. He tricked me into taking those two slackers with me to the Preventers. That's when all the trouble started."

"Trick YOU into taking the children on an outing with their father? Outrageous! With all the important things you have to do?" Duo's face suddenly became placid as he looked at Wu Fei. "You a man of high position," he sang. "Esteemed by your peers.

"And when your little tikes are cryin', you haven't time to dry their tears.

"Or see them grateful little faces smiling up at you.

"Because their dad, 'e always knows just what to do."

Wu Fei looked at Duo and wondered briefly if he was on something. "First off, they're not even my kids, let alone 'tikes'. Quatre's adopted and Trowa isn't even legally mine. Hell, they're the same age as me. They should be off in the working world, using their talents like I have. Instead they're off with a nanny, playing children's games, having the time of their lives while I go out and risk mine every day. They're the ones who don't have time for me. They're always off doing this and that. And they're hardly grateful. I'm surprised they even notice me once in a while. Besides that, they don't cry. Trowa doesn't even laugh, let alone cry and if Quatre does, then Trowa's the one who handles it. Drying tears indeed. About the only thing you got right is that I always know what to do."

Duo nodded, trying to hide his sweatdrops and stray hairs. He tried a different route.

"I understand. You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone.

An' your chil'hood slips, like sand through a sieve.

And all to soon you've up and grown, an' you're friends have flown.

And it's to late for you to live."

Wu Fei didn't say anything to that. His eyes were distant, and his brow was creased in thought. Duo quietly picked up his brushes and left. He glanced up the stairs and saw Heero looking down at him. The braided youth flashed a quick v sign and mouthed the words "Mission complete" before exiting the door. Once it was closed, Heero motion to someone out of camera range. Trowa and Quatre, now much cleaner and in their nighties, quietly climbed down the stairs and entered the now clean drawing room.

"Otou-san," Quatre said softly. Wu Fei looked up. "Otou-san we're sorry about today."

"Being sorry doesn't do much, now does it?" the "adult" asked wearily.

Quatre looked to Trowa and nodded. The green-eyed youth walked up to Wu Fei and handed him two manila envelopes. "Here," he said simply.

Wu Fei eyed the envelopes suspiciously. "What are they?" he asked before taking them.

"Our résumés and our profiles," Trowa answered softly. "I assumed that Preventers would want to do a background check on us."

"I don't understand."

"We're volunteering to join the Preventers," Trowa clarified. "Will that correct our mistakes?"

"Will that make everything alright?" added Quatre.

Wu Fei scoffed. "Hardly, but it might help a little." He sank deeper into the covered chair. "Now go away."

"Hai, Otou-san." Both boys bowed respectively, surprising Wu Fei, and quietly made their way back up the stairs.

The ebony-eyed youth sighed heavily. He stood up and turned toward the fireplace. The floating camera followed, noticing for the first time an ancient, antique Chinese sword displayed upon the mantle. Wu Fei took it down and looked at the magnificent piece. The hilt was intricately carved, the pattern flowing down the handle and even up into the well polished blade. He looked at his reflection in the beautiful sword before sheathing it. He grabbed his derby hat and left the Chang household, the door quietly clicking behind him.

Wu Fei glanced wearily up to Libra's cannon. Quinze was nowhere in sight, and he assumed that the old man had already gone to bed. Still, playing it safe, Wu Fei kept himself in the shadows as he made his way to the park. Once inside, the boy took a deep breath and began his walk to Preventer headquarters, his mind deep in thought.

He had been surprised when those two slackers, Trowa and Quatre, had fessed up and shown some responsibility by apologizing. He was surprised even further when they took responsibility for it and volunteered for the Preventers. Perhaps he had finally gotten through to them about using their talents and skills for useful ventures instead of all those worthless frivolities. Now if only he could take his own advice. He had taken a step in the right direction by joining the Preventers, but he felt that he wasn't doing what he should. Wu Fei hardly thought that being a messenger, running back and forth with bits of paper, was an applicable way of using his talents. Every "mission" he completed hardly did much good for the colonies, and he felt as though he could do so much more. Hell, he had been a GUNDAM pilot for cryin' out loud! How was it that he had been placed in such a degrading and humiliating job!

Wu Fei walked down the streets and turned a corner. Pausing, he noticed that he was at the cathedral. Iria was long gone, and the steps suddenly looked gloomy and foreboding. Not really thinking of the change, he walked on in the damp, dreary gray of the London lamplights.

After an hours walk, Wu Fei reached the Preventer headquarters. He had been here only hours ago, but it seemed more like an eternity. Steadying himself, he knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal Nichol, personal assistant of Lady Une. He said nothing, but motioned the Chinese boy to follow him. We Fei did so, looking at the thick walls and plush carpeting for the first time. What a pompous organization this was. Just like it's leader, whom he was about to face.

Nichol stopped at a set of huge doors. Wu Fei had never been inside this room before. He had often wondered what was inside. Now he dreaded it. He knew exactly what was inside: Treize. Wu Fei took a deep breath and opened the door, foregoing knocking since everyone inside knew who was here.

Inside was a HUGE room, extending far beyond what Wu Fei could see in the dim light. In fact, it was totally dark except for on beam on light shining down on a table, presumably placed in the room's middle. Wu Fei walked toward it. As he walked closer, he saw the major players of the Preventers. Septem, Durmail, and Tuberough were there, though visibly bandaged and apprehensive of the young boy. Lady Une was there, her glasses off and her hair down. And the big cheese-

Treize looked up. "I am not a cheese," he said.

"Yeah? So?" our disembodied voices asked. "We've gone almost an entire page without a funny line, we had to thing of something."

"I see," he muttered. "Though I hardly find it amusing." He leaned over the table and whispered something in Lady Une's ear. She stood up, turning to Wu Fei.

"Do you know why the Preventers was formed?" she asked.

The boy nodded. "It was made so that we could 'enforce' the total pacifism developed by the united earth and colonies."

Une nodded. "From the time that ideal was born to this, we have preformed our duties to the letter, never once failing in our mission." She sat down and Treize stood up.

"Until today," he continued. "A failure caused by the disgraceful conduct of your two sons. Do you deny it?"

"No," Wu Fei said sternly. "I do not deny that my bringing them here caused problems. But all they did was bring to light problems that until now have been buried and ignored. Problems brought on by YOUR leadership, Treize Kushrenada! I challenge you!" Wu Fei drew his sword and took a battle stance.

Treize smiled. "That was the right choice." He held out his hand and Lady Une came up, placing a fencing sword in it.

"Be careful," she whispered to him. Treize smiled at her concern. He gently traced her face with a gloved hand, causing her to blush slightly.

"My lady," he said softly. The leader of the Preventers then stepped forward. "Chang Wu Fei, I accept your challenge."

The two combatants charged each other, their swords clashing as they met. The duel rivaled that of their first duel in episode eight. But, of course, we didn't change their fighting ability at all, so Treize won. It was no contest. Actually, as the camera watched, Treize used the exactly same move that he had in that first duel to defeat Wu Fei in this fic.

When the fight was over and Treize had a sword to the boy's throat, there was a long moment of silence as the combatants stared at each other. Wu Fei slowly rised, Treize keeping his sword at the boy's neck.

"The duel is mine," Treize said finally, taking his blade away. "As is your job. You've just been fired, Wu Fei."

Lady Une took her cue and stepped forward. After giving a winning smile to the leader of the Preventers, she walked up to the now unemployed Wu Fei. She took the rose that had been the symbol of the Preventers off his silken jacket and ripped off the petals. She took Wu Fei's sword, intending to break it, but could not bring herself to destroy such a magnificent blade. She instead gave it to Treize. Une finally took Wu Fei's derby had and punched a hole right through it. Placing it back on the boy's head, she stepped back to Treize's side.

"Do you have anything to say? Wu Fei," he asked.

Wu Fei smiled. "There were two people who happened to meet on the street one day. One said, 'I know a Gundam with a system named Zero.' The second said, 'Oh, really? What's the name of the Gundam?' Treize, even if I lost the duel today, someday someone will come along and defeat you. I will have the last laugh."

Wu Fei promptly turned on his heel and left the Preventers for good.

The floating camera wasn't sure who to follow, and bobbed between the two before deciding that it would take less energy to stay in the great room. Lazy.

Une turned to Treize. "What on earth was that about?" she asked softly.

"A system named Zero," Treize muttered, trying to wrap his brain around the joke. "A system named Zero. A system named-" Treize looked up, knowledge dawning on his handsome eyes.

"Treize-sama?" Une asked, suddenly nervous about her lover's behavior.

"I understand now," he said simply. Treize then started laughing. It was quiet at first, similar to that of the elder Dawes in the original movie. That odd silent laugh quickly graduated into outright guffaws, and it wasn't long before the leader of the Preventers was rising up off the ground.

"Treize-sama? Treize-sama!" Lady Une grabbed her beloved before he could rise any higher. "Treize-sama!" She turned to the three other heads of Preventers. "Don't just stand there! Help him down!"

"Ah, but Colonel Une," Duke Durmail said. "Surely you understand that none of us really liked the former head of the Preventers." The three wounded men grinned evilly as the only light source in the room faded away.

* * *

The next morning was beautiful as Quinze stepped out on the roof of his home. "The report please," he told his flunky. He breathed in the crisp air and started coughing. This air was too pure for him. Quinze much preferred the recycled air of the colonies. Why oh why was he stuck on earth for this fic? It was degrading.

"The wind has changed sir, blowing dead from the west," said a woman's voice. Quinze turned around surprised. Before him was not the nameless flunky from before, but a young woman with very long, golden hair.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"My name is Dorothy, and I'm your new personal assistant. You will no longer call me flunky, and you will show me the proper respect of one who is you're intellectual superior. Quinze, you will only give orders that I let you give out, since I am now in charge. Let's get better acquainted, shall we?"

Quinze felt a sudden feeling of dread. But at least it distracted him from what was going on in the Chang household.

* * *

Inside said household, three women were in the foyer. Constable Noin was on the phone, talking with Inspector Zechs, Sally Po was pacing this way and that, and Catherine was standing in the corner, trying in vain to calm the mistress down.

"Wu Fei is a strong man," she was saying. "I'm sure he can handle himself."

"You don't understand!" Sally fretted. "I hope nothing's happened to him. I've worked to hard to get him, I don't want to loose him." Tears started sliding down her face and Catherine offered a shoulder to cry on.

"Yessir.. Yes, Chang Wu Fei," Noin said into the phone's receiver. "You know him, he was the one who blew up Lake Victoria. I told you about him … yes, that's the one … I already went to the Preventers. All Une told me was that last night he'd been discharged. No telling what he'd do in a fit of despondency. I mean, after L5 blew up, he joined Mar … Meriama … that Endless Waltz girl. You know what I'm talking about. Hai … uh-huh …"

There suddenly was a clank in the basement, it caused both Catherine and Sally to look up. The noise was followed by a thud, and then an exclamation.

"Nani? Kore wa-? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!" There were footsteps bounding up the stairs of the basement and the door burst open to reveal-

"Wu Fei!" Sally ran to her husband as he ran to her. The two met each other within two steps and began to greet each other. Passionately.

"That's right Zechs. He's been found … No, alive!" Noin's voice lowered to a sultry whisper. "Well, so I presume. She doing to him what I want to do to you right now."

Back at the other end of the foyer, Sally and Wu Fei came up for air.

"Oh Wu Fei, you didn't do something stupid. How sensible of you."

Wu Fei, however, was so happy that he was actually expressing it. "You would not BELIEVE what I found in the basement! It's wonderful! She's back, by God. She's back. Where are those slackers?" He looked up the stairs. "Trowa! Quatre!"

* * *

Upstairs actually was quite a different sight. The two aforementioned boys were watching the third, Heero, putting his things back into his gundanium bag.

"But Heero," Quatre was saying, a lump in his throat. "We've been on so many great missions, and all of them successful. The four of us made such a good team. We have to work together if we're going to save the colonies. Ne?"

"My mission was to look after you until Wu Fei could. Mission completed. That's all there is to it." Heero started putting all his mirrors into the bag. Then his hat stand and plants.

Quatre looked as if he were about to cry. Trowa put a comforting arm around the boy. He looked to Heero. "You seem to be very detached from this. That's funny considering you are always telling me to follow my emotions."

Heero looked at the quiet boy and raised an eyebrow. "Part of following you're emotions is to know when to go so that the people you care about won't get hurt. Besides, this fic is almost over. And I'm the first one in line who gets to list complaints to the twins. I'm not about to be late."

"Trowa! Quatre!" a voice filtered up from the open nursery door.

"Wu Fei wants you," Heero said. "Get going."

Quatre let out a sob, but managed to keep his eyes dry. Trowa helped him out of the nursery. Once the two were gone, Heero let out a lone sigh. He put the last of his things in the gundanium bag and looked out the window.

"Masaka?" Forget using doors, Heero grabbed his bag and jumped out the window, wanting to make sure he saw what he did.

* * *

Inside the house, Wu Fei grabbed the arms of Trowa, Quatre, Noin, and Sally as he ran to the basement. Someone turned the lights on and revealed that the basement was actually a huge hangar. And in the docking area were-

"The Gundams!" Quatre shouted.

We were just gonna say that! Anyway, there were indeed the Gundams. From left to right stood Epyon, a white Taurus, Heavyarms, Sandrock, a Leo (? That's what Sally pilots, right?) and the Shen Long.

"Nataku!" Wu Fei corrected as he ran to his Gundam patting and hugging it lovingly. "You don't know how much I've suffered just to get threw this fic, Nataku. You make it all worth it!" He continued cooing at the giant mecha as the others were examining their suits, making sure nothing was damaged or different.

"How-?" asked Noin. She had only just come down, since she first had to tell Zechs to get down here.

In answer to her question, the twins appeared.

"Let me! Let me!" said Mirror. "Last night we appropriated Heero's gundanium bag. You do remember that in part one we said it held gundams, right?"

Image interjected. "After putting up with not only us but this fic, we thought it appropriate to give you a reward. BUT!" Image disappeared and reappeared in front of Wu Fei. "In order for YOU, Chang Wu Fei to get a chance to pilot this thing, you first have to do the one thing you've been avoiding since this fic started."

Wu Fei pushed past Image and climbed up into Nataku. "For this, I'll do anything." He closed the cockpit and turned on his Gundam. Everything was operational. The ecstatic boy took a deep breath. "Let's go fly a Gundam!

"Up to the highest mountain!

"Let's go fly a Gundam and send it soaring!

"Up through the altitudes!

"While singing platitudes!

"Oh, ikou, fly a Gundam!" Wu Fei hit ignition and he and the others, now safely strapped into their cockpits, flew out of the house and off into the sky.

* * *

Outside, Heero was having a similar experience as he monitored the systems of Wing Zero. Grinning like a madman, he also hit his ignition. "I'm finally free," he whispered.

"Yes we are, aren't we?" a voice asked. A screen turned on to reveal Duo also in a cockpit, presumably of Deathscythe. "Lookie what I found!" he said ecstatically. "If this is what I get for completing a fic, I should do this more often! Heero, ikou! I know this great place where we can drink ourselves silly and no one will say anything." Duo looked around to make sure the floating camera wasn't near him. He forgot it was with Heero. "And they have mirrors in the most interesting places," he added in a whisper.

Heero just grinned. "I'll meet you there." Oh well, it wouldn't hurt to be a few minutes late for those complaints about these new authresses, now would it?

* * *

"Wu Fei." A monitor flicked on to reveal Lady Une.

"What do you want?" he asked indignantly. He wanted to fly Nataku without interruption.

"You have a Gundam I see. I see you also have an excellent sense of humor. Treize died laughing."

Wu Fei looked at Une. He gave a wicked smile. "I told him I'd get the last laugh. So what do you want?"

Une returned the wicked smile. "I am the new head of the Preventers. Tuberough, Durmail, and Septem are dead. There's room for several openings. You and your two children show excellent potential as does your wife, Sally. I see a brilliant future for earth and the colonies ahead of us."

Wu Fei smiled.

* * *

Let's go fly a Gundam.

Up to the highest mountain.

Let's go fly a Gundam and send it soaring.

Up through the altitudes,

While singing platitudes.

Oh, ikou, fly a Gundam!

* * *

**The End**


End file.
